Not On My Lawn
Poor old Mr. Perry,
Became a lowly pawn;
His ugly neighbor's dog,
Kept poopin' on his lawn
Big ol' piles of logs,
Standing inches high;
An odor so vile and funky,
You'd swear you're gonna die!
Retrieving the morning paper,
Would make him gag and yield;
Dodging mounds of doo,
Was like a wicked mine field!
"Keep your dog off my lawn"
The old man kindly begged;
The dog walked up and growled,
Then peed down Perry's leg!
That was the final straw!
It was time to sink the axe;
Perry hatched a wicked plot,
A box of chocolate Ex-Lax!!
Early one Friday morning,
Just at the break of dawn;
There appeared that ugly dog,
Ready to poop on his lawn
A big ol' bowl of grub,
Enough to swell a horse;
Perry smiled as he woofed it down,
Nature would take its course!
The mutt took his daily poop,
Went back from where he came;
The sands of time were calling,
His neighbor would go insane!
An hour or so had passed,
No one made a sound;
All of a sudden, there's cussing,
"Get out, you mangy hound!!"
The scheme worked as planned,
Crap sprayed the floors and walls;
His neighbor's house was a rotten mess,
Funk had decked the halls!
Old Perry was the victor,
At last, he found his peace;
That rotten dog kept off his lawn,
The poopin' finally ceased!
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