Not On My Lawn

Poor old Mr. Perry, Became a lowly pawn; His ugly neighbor's dog, Kept poopin' on his lawn Big ol' piles of logs, Standing inches high; An odor so vile and funky, You'd swear you're gonna die! Retrieving the morning paper, Would make him gag and yield; Dodging mounds of doo, Was like a wicked mine field! "Keep your dog off my lawn" The old man kindly begged; The dog walked up and growled, Then peed down Perry's leg! That was the final straw! It was time to sink the axe; Perry hatched a wicked plot, A box of chocolate Ex-Lax!! Early one Friday morning, Just at the break of dawn; There appeared that ugly dog, Ready to poop on his lawn A big ol' bowl of grub, Enough to swell a horse; Perry smiled as he woofed it down, Nature would take its course! The mutt took his daily poop, Went back from where he came; The sands of time were calling, His neighbor would go insane! An hour or so had passed, No one made a sound; All of a sudden, there's cussing, "Get out, you mangy hound!!" The scheme worked as planned, Crap sprayed the floors and walls; His neighbor's house was a rotten mess, Funk had decked the halls! Old Perry was the victor, At last, he found his peace; That rotten dog kept off his lawn, The poopin' finally ceased!