Normal; Then What

it's a plan now. ------------------rewind: she looked outside through the bars on the window eyes burnt & throbbing from seeing too much & regretting too little. words, though shaken, momentarily achieve response, how bad could better really be? / drips of rain slide down the window's glass. / music like blades placed in my ears is twisted for full effect. (mothers assume lullabies soothe) fastforward:------------------ so many things have shown to come close to this addictive sense of power. supplies for the upcoming self demise are numerous & very within reach. why choose one when you can choose all? the more the merrier, let's have a ball. &now? asked honestly, without judgement or disgust. what now? in-between, these are the moments that count. time is planned & i am almost out. i wanna make this last! pleasure so deep it's fantasy- on second thought, [crash] diagnosed as murder due to use of premeditation. whisper, save the nation.