Terry Flood Poet Lyric

No Toilets In the Sky - 2021 Version

[To the tune of Ghost Riders In The Sky (loosely)]
                                *

Heaven’s almost everywhere but mainly upon high
Santa Claus delivers there cos he’s that kind of guy
The lack of any lavatory almost made him cry
He tried to keep his legs crossed but he dribbled from the sky

              He needs to go
              He needs to pray
              No toilets in the sky

The holy choir tinkles as they travel on their way
Sprinkling golden showers ’cross the moonlit sky today
They have no private place to pee which fills them with dismay
For there’s no public toilets... in the Milky Way

Gabriel is struggling cos he’s been out on the beer
His guts are throwing tantrums and he tries to plug his rear
He knows he’s gonna poop his pants that fact is fairly clear
For there’s no public toilets... in the upper atmosphere

                He needs to go
                He needs to pray
                No toilets in the sky

Saint Peter has some turbulence and says a little prayer
He needs to poop and piddle but there’s nowhere private there
He’s sure he gonna throw up and become a vomit sprayer
For there’s no public toilets... in the ozone layer

Satan’s uncle pooped himself, how will he show his face
Public humiliation, he’s in permanent disgrace
He couldn’t hold it in although he found no private place
For there’s no public toilets... on the edge of space

                He needs to go
                He needs to pray
                No toilets in the sky

Grim, the reaper belched and burped, his tummy grumbled loud
His fart was wet but silent, he was glad because he’s proud
Grim is really trying not to throw up over crowds
For there’s no public toilets... high above the clouds

The angel doubled up and squirted out a putrid spray
Santa Claus got splattered as the reindeer pulled away
All kinds of hell will rain upon a Yuletide Earth this year
For there’s no public toilets... in the stratosphere

                  He needs to go
                  He needs to pray
                  No toilets in the sky

                                 



7 October 2021
Contest: The Throne In Heaven
Sponsor: Jack Webster

And

Contest: Change The Record
Sponsor: Natasha L Scragg

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Rico Leffanta October 9, 2021 at 10:17 AM Fav'd! Terry Flood October 9, 2021 at 12:13 PM Thanks for the fave, Rico… go on, admit it, you’ve been singing it all day. ;-) Terry

L Milton Hankins October 7, 2021 at 6:56 PM I couldn't help but try to sing this, and, by golly, it is singable, Terry. Superb! Well done! I sure would hate to be judging this contest from the entries I've read. Terry Flood October 8, 2021 at 3:59 PM Glad you enjoyed, Milt. I wonder if this is the first literary outing for Satan’s uncle… my God, a world first! Oh, the fame, the infamy. Don’t worry, there’s no need to bow. ;-) Terry

William Kelii Kekaula October 7, 2021 at 5:54 PM I'm in stitches my friend, cleverly written, Aloha! Terry Flood October 8, 2021 at 3:49 PM Thank you William. Your appreciation is much appreciated. Terry

Paula Goldsmith October 7, 2021 at 4:46 PM This is way tooooo fuuny. Thanks for the laughs. My sides are now hurting. (I needed that). You need to frame this one. Have a blessed day............... Terry Flood October 8, 2021 at 3:47 PM Thanks Paula. So glad you had a laugh at this. I nearly put God and Jesus in but refrained in deference to our devout friends. Terry

Jan Allison October 7, 2021 at 4:37 PM hilarious, perhaps you could put this in the lyrics contest too lol:-) hugs Jan xx Terry Flood October 8, 2021 at 3:43 PM Thanks Jan. Entered ‘Lyric’ this morning. Glad you enjoyed. Terry L Milton Hankins October 7, 2021 at 6:57 PM Yes, by all means. As I said, I couldn't stop singing it! Still LMAO.