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No One Else To Blame

When I was young, about four or five,
I decided to jump off the real high dive.
My mom said I’d get hurt, she tried to say no,
of course I took the plunge, and my face took the blow. 
Blood ran from my face as she called out my name.
I told her it hurt, but I had no one else to blame.

When I was a little older, about seven or eight,
I was at the dinner table refusing to clear my plate.
My mom said to eat my food, I just pushed my plate away.
She told me to go to my room, that is where I had to stay.
I got mad and threw a fit, she wasn’t up for my games.
When I got grounded, I had no one else to blame. 

Add on a few more years, I just turned sixteen.
I thought the world was mine. I acted like a queen. 
My mom told me to shape up. I didn’t listen of course.
She told me don’t test her, if I didn’t want her rules enforced.
I laughed it off, figuring it was false claims,
But when I didn’t get a car, I had no one else to blame.

When I got to college, I was newly eighteen.
It was a whole new world, so many things to do and be seen.
My mom told me to be safe, reminded me to make good decisions.
I soon got in too deep. College wasn’t what I envisioned. 
She told me to stay focused I told her to stop being lame.
When I failed my first class, I had no one else to blame.

Senior year was almost over and I was finally twenty-one.
Something was telling me the fun had only begun.
My mom told me to think, so I dabbled in drugs.
My only concern became how many beers I could chug.
She said she was concerned, that I wasn’t the same. 
When I lost my way, I had no one else to blame. 

At twenty two, I fell in with the wrong crowd.
We did what we wanted, we were obnoxious and loud.
My mom said she loved me. I just pushed her away.
She fought hard to reach out, I fought harder to stray.
One night something happened. I was overcome with shame.
He forced himself in me, but I had no one else to blame.

Looking back on my life, on all the choices I had made,
as his assault continued, my poor choices replayed. 
The words my mom had said were ringing in my ears.
I closed my eyes tight and fought back the tears.
When it was all over, responsibility I had to claim.
After everything I had done, who else could I blame?

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