NO EXIT MEMORIES

As I took the road to yesterday, your saddened face appeared, showing me the man you lived with was not the place where you belonged. New experiences give us insight into ourselves. They also open new worlds to new anxieties, but we can’t go on thinking that clouds are heaven and that heaven is a sanctuary for a pained heart. That heavenly road derailed me from my perceived need to go home again to be with you. I know you’re not there, gone to where I can’t find you, where I dare not follow. My yesterday’s roads have dead ended and will not bring us together. It is futile to lament that which wasn’t to be. We had our chance to find the golden chalice, but God chose a different path for you. My mind knows you've gone to some other place, unknown place where I'm not leaving my heart aching with sadness and anguish. Eternity will cry, forever will seem endless, ultimately, extinguishing the light in my heart, but unburdening my mind shoving me toward my destiny. I have moved on from yesterday’s history, to find the days are the same and he nights excruciating the rain still falls and makes mud, the sun shines bright blinding me and the moon still cowers behind my nightmares. I remember our yesterdays and my heart overflowing with joy but suddenly last night in an innocuous dream I became aware yesterday’s roads are just memories, memories leading to no exits. Yesterday’s roads never lead me to happiness or renewal only to reliving torturous feelings that diminish today’s joys when I remember you quickly fading in and out and then out and in again...