No Christ In Christmas

Christmas Day in our house Started serene Everything orderly Perfect and pristine Guests were all greeted As if best friends Little did they realise This would soon come to an end The spread upon the table A glorious feast indeed All looked scrumptious On which an army could feed Then there was the drink Oh! that demon brew Guests started drinking Not one or even two Some imbibed on wine Others supped the beer Bottle after bottle seemed to disappear Auntie Flo was taken bad Her face went very red Uncle Bill was looking ill So they were carted off to bed Someone turned the music up It was already loud Suddenly the family Became a raucous crowd Of people Who had lost the plot Uncle George was paralytic Talking utter rot Embarrassing his wife Who never touched a drink To add to her chagrin George threw-up in the sink Cousin Jack was dancing And acting the fool He danced out into the garden And fell into the pool The dog thought Jack Wanted to swim It looked so inviting The dog jumped in with him The music and laughter Was deafening by now Auntie Lil and Uncle Phil Had a dreadful row What started it One may never know Mum said Lil saw Phil Kiss her best friend Under the mistletoe Dad said "cool it you two It's not a day to row Have another drink Phil Shut up Lil for now" Meanwhile in the kitchen Things were getting hot The Christmas pudding Had slipped out of the pot Onto the floor Which of course made a din The door opened And the wet dog walked straight in Smelling the pud He recognised the whiff Of all the fruit and spices He gave the pud a sniff Feeling very tired He was just a little pup He marked the spot On the pud For later when he woke up The door-bell started ringing It had rung several times The neighbours had had enough They thought it was a crime To be so dis-respectful On Christmas Day Not the time to put This noise and rudeness on display When eventually Someone heard the bell The people in our house Told the neighbours To go to hell Did they not know It's Christmas A time to rejoice People in our house Wanted to make amends Offered a drink So the neighbours had a choice The neighbours thanked them Said they would decline They would like to get together At some other time All finished amicably As hopefully it should Meanwhile the pup Had woken up And was eating the CHRISTMAS PUD!