Nine Months

It's been nine months since I left you it wasn't easy at all you was such a big part of my life for on and off 14 years i trusted and believed in you that you would keep me safe happy and many other things! Thought you wouldn't ever hurt me lie,cheat,steal any of that! I told you my deepest darkest fears,secrets, asked you to never take advantage of me or my family/ friends. Knowing everything I had been through and all I felt that your the only thing I could turn to and have on my side. Never asked for much!! Myself being lost,lonely,scared,angry,confused all the above. You guided me in as if I was one of your own! Our relationship became stronger we was together at all times our bond was unbreakable the love was stronger than anything I ever had or felt! Every time I put you inside my veins I felt unbelievable amazing all my worries and problems disappeared the feeling of being loved unconditionally it was insane! We became as if we were soul mates like a married couple incredibly in love!! Until you got me right where you wanted me couldn't live without you or even be without you if I was I felt like I was dieing to where I begged for God to take my life because you betrayed me and lied,used, physically and mentally and emotionally abused, lost many friends and family due to you had me lieing cheating stealing and other things that I would have never done in my life. Attempting suicide a few times just so I could end the pain and suffering from being an herion addict needle junkie that I truly hated more than anything in this world. I was alone scared many things nobody to turn to it was either move out of that town or end up in jail/prison and I most definitely didn't want that. I left town without even looking back remind you I had myself totally convinced that I couldn't live without herion/the devil!! Nine months later I'm alive clean and sober getting my life back on track new beginning and away from that town a good 2-3hours away. Only been back there one time and was so nausea and sick to my stomach and nervous) scared because I know what goes on there any so much more. I was there long enough to get the paperwork I needed and that's it no looking back!! But here I am nine months later alive trying to get do whats Best for myself and others if they need my support I will be there to help and support in any way possible. I survived not knowing I could all you have to do is want it more than anything and hope and pray and God heavenly father will be there no matter what. I'm still a working progress but bettering myself and many others!! Have faith never give up.