New Nine Month Rule
This bears repeating, every December (and February, and March):
We have five December birthdays
in our immediate family.
February is the love month,
not March, never March, okay?
Some are confused about St. Valentine
who, though he championed love,
would have scoffed at our customs.
Claudius the Cruel*, Queen Juno**,
birds mating, and fertility rites
have no bearing on March.
Please pass the word.
December birthdays
thin budgets, time, and tempers.
The month of December
is for Christmas, don'tcha know?
March should be off limits
in the bedroom.
Every woman should hang a sign
on her bed on March first:
On Vacation for one month!
What, no one told your mother
about the nine month rule?
*Ordered St. Valentine beheaded in 278 AD
**Roman Goddess of marriage & childbirth.
cfa © 12/13/2010
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