L Milton Hankins Poet Narrative

Never Argue With a 3-Year-Old

My three-year-old put his hand on his chin 
like he was mulling over something troubling
I said, "Son, look at this place; what a mess!" 
“But, Papa,” he moaned, “I pway wifh these!” 
His room was cluttered from wall to wall-- 
books and crayons, even an old football, 
an old sippy cup, its contents long dried up, 
cars, trucks strewn about from a huge pileup, 
game pieces and his Christmas roller skates, 
and things I’d long forgotten he even owned. 
“Straighten it up, now!” I commanded. 
He began to pout. “It’s myyyy wooom, Papa.” 
Stifling a tear of my own, I nodded, agreeing, 
“But YOUR room is in MY house,” I explained. 

When I stepped out and closed the door, 
I heard stuff being tossed hither and yon, 
So, I stood there for a good long while, and, 
this is what I heard: “Otay, I queen up my woom, 
but next year for Quissmas....” then, loudly, 
“I WANT A HOUSE OF MY OWN, OTAY!” 
Loud enough for him to hear, I replied, 
“SO, WHEN NEXT CHRISTMAS COMES, SON,  
I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO!”

Submitted to "2022 Marathon Mile No. 12" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Mark Toney
August 12, 2022

FIRST PLACE WINNER
Submitted to "'Funny Memories'" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Natasha L Scragg
January 16, 2022

Written 3/24/2021 (edited slightly 3/27/2021)
Submitted to: "Look At This Place!" Contest
Sponsored by Matt Caliri

BRONZE WINNER
"Anything Children" Contest - All Poetry
September 3, 2021

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Jan Allison January 30, 2022 at 1:04 PM what a funny story Milt, many congrats on your win:-) hugs Jan xx L Milton Hankins January 30, 2022 at 3:06 PM Thanks, Jan. I do think it's one of the cuter poems I've ever written.

Ronald D Thompson January 29, 2022 at 8:12 AM Excellent!! Very witty and resonates!! Congtrats on your contest win. Best wishes...Ron L Milton Hankins January 29, 2022 at 8:47 AM Thank you so much, Ronald!

Janice Canerdy January 28, 2022 at 5:42 PM This IS funny. CONGRATS on your win, Milton. Janice. :-) L Milton Hankins January 28, 2022 at 6:24 PM Thanks so much, Janice. It is pure fiction, but I think I did a fair job of writing three-year-old dialogue!

Malabika Ray Choudhury January 28, 2022 at 3:46 PM revisiting to congratulate on your win. This is hilarious! A brilliant poem! L Milton Hankins January 28, 2022 at 5:04 PM Thank you, Mala. I appreciate your comment so much!~

Natasha L Scragg January 28, 2022 at 12:19 PM This is such a cute story L. Milt. :-D I can hear a little voice demanding a house of his own. I love the dialect as it's so like the way a young child would speak. Brilliant! This added a lot of charm to your poem too. Congrats on your placement. L Milton Hankins January 28, 2022 at 12:30 PM Thank you so much, Natasha. I really enjoyed your contest and thought this little story was a neat fit. Glad you liked it!

Gershon Wolf March 29, 2021 at 8:53 PM This narrative is so cute I could pinch its cheek, Milt. Great write! :) gw L Milton Hankins March 29, 2021 at 9:53 PM Gee, thanks, Gershon. It was a fun write!

Judy Ball March 27, 2021 at 9:20 AM Too cute. Love, Love, Love This! Great imagery. I can see the scene unfold before me. A fave for me. God Bless, JB L Milton Hankins March 27, 2021 at 11:05 AM Thanks, Judy. It was a lot of fun to write. I appreciate your thoughts.

Malabika Ray Choudhury March 25, 2021 at 3:40 PM So adorable, Milton. I love reading about children, and their cute conversations. Thoroughly enjoyed the poem - this part is hilarious - “Otay, I queen up my woom, but next year for Quissmas....” then, loudly, “I WANT A HOUSE OF MY OWN, OTAY!” L Milton Hankins March 25, 2021 at 5:04 PM Yes, Malabika, so typical of little kids. Glad you stopped by and for the read. Have a fine weekend!

Richard Lamoureux March 25, 2021 at 12:56 PM Good problem solving skills. Maybe you can sell your house and move in with him. He shouldn’t mind if your room is a bit messy. ;0) L Milton Hankins March 25, 2021 at 2:09 PM Apparently, Richard. It does take some effort to stay ahead of a 3-year-old. They have their own ideas...right or wrong. And, they need constant guidance and direction. Unfortunately, too many parents nowadays aren't giving these little ones what they need. Thanks for the read.

Christopher Flaherty March 25, 2021 at 12:04 PM Hi L.M.H In regards to your comment im sorry i meant to cause no offense. It was in fact on the contrary a rant against youth in fact in defense of the aged not against them . I obviously failed to get my point accross. I'll have to go back proof re-read it and edit it. Again sorry for offense caused that was never my aim L Milton Hankins March 25, 2021 at 2:11 PM Christopher, no offense. I just wanted to signal you that it was a bit tough on us old dudes. I'll take a look at it. I'm always glad to be helpful, if I can. I'm glad you cared enough to get back with me. Thanks for the read. Christopher Flaherty March 25, 2021 at 12:32 PM Please L.H.M I have rewritten my poem please may i ask you to re-read it and let me know if you feel i have corrected my mistake. Cheers ta thank you

Alexis Y. March 25, 2021 at 11:17 AM Lol! L. Milton, I agree; you can't argue with a three you old. This is such an adorable write. I could just picture the whole scene. I enjoyed the read. Have a great day:-) Alexis L Milton Hankins March 25, 2021 at 11:32 AM Thanks, Alexis. I appreciate you so much...and your comments.

David Kavanagh March 25, 2021 at 5:19 AM Class act Milton, your kiddy language is brilliant, flows great with the story, cheers David David Kavanagh March 25, 2021 at 9:52 AM Yep works perfect, for me it makes the poem L Milton Hankins March 25, 2021 at 8:28 AM Thanks so much, David. It was fun to write. I tried to remember how kids talk and then mimic it with the spelling. I think it worked. I hope so.

Caren Krutsinger March 25, 2021 at 12:32 AM This is darling! What a great story! L Milton Hankins March 25, 2021 at 8:26 AM Thanks, Caren. I think any caring, loving father can relate to this. Kids do, indeed, say the darndest things!

Carolyn Devonshire March 24, 2021 at 3:36 PM LOL What a funny story, Milton! Your little boy sounds adorable. And I love his "comeback." He'll probably forget all about it by next Christmas. It sounds like you have a delightful family. Hugs, Carolyn L Milton Hankins March 24, 2021 at 4:14 PM Carolyn, I have great-grandchildren. But, I can remember similar situations when my children were young, and my brain has a way of conjuring those times up when I start writing. Thanks so much for the read and your comment.

Darlene De Beaulieu March 24, 2021 at 11:03 AM Hello Milton, oh such a cute poem. As I read I WAS smiling. Enjoy your day my friend. Darlene De Beaulieu March 24, 2021 at 2:52 PM Hello Milton, I did sense that you had fun cre\ating this poem. Enjoy your evening my friend. L Milton Hankins March 24, 2021 at 12:23 PM Thank you so much, Darlene. I'm so delighted you enjoyed it. It was fun to write, too.