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My Primary Emotion

~ My Primary Emotion~ Three days ago I decided to become heartless by eliminating my Spirit and Soul I could not take the agony anymore. I urged my lawyer to come, he looked at me and asked, what is wrong? Gazing at him said, I don't regret committing that felony against them I need to be punished lets go to court. Having no reaction, looking disoriented he opened the door walked me to his car & drove to court. Standing opposite the judge I stared at him bluntly, he was reviewing my report looked at me ushered to sit in the box to be persecuted. The defense lawyer aware of my crimes seemed intrigued and asked, madam what caused you to retaliate against your Spirit & Soul?. I needed to disrupt their thoughts which turned against me, the chaos in my brain became unbearable, exhausted by their discussions aggravated my strength weakened me, my whole body was antagonizing, intentionally forcing my thoughts to become heartless, merciless when I attacked them. Both profited from my kindness my patience, my healing was not responding, needing some peace to pray for a miracle as my young brother today is near death, cancer of the lungs, he`s getting colder by the minute, not eating, not socializing, alone, my tears were overflowing beyond control, when I heard a friendly whisper coming from my Heart crying, enough is enough your thoughts need to stop to allow yourself recognize wrath is unbearable, your sorrow is taking you nowhere, wait for the diagnosis. Out of compassion the judge set me free my kindness befriended my Spirit & Soul together we went back home. Waiting. I was surrounded by them knowing ahead of me will be the longest night I will ever experience in years, because I was determined to stay awake for that call. The echo of the ringer came louder than usual we heard this message! Minutes ago he was wide awake Minutes ago his heart tore him away minutes ago his casket was carried astray minutes ago underground he will lay. Minutes ago I wished him an endless goodbye with a sigh. My friends held me step by step walked me to bed covered me up stayed until I had no more tears to shed. Those were my emotions for today. Grieving over the loss of my young brother. Sadness. Therese Bacha 2/4/2013 Contest of Dan Williams. Primary Emotion Today..

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Sukmawati Komala

Date: 4/7/2013 11:07:00 PM

hi my sweetest poetess Terry,,,not to mention how i enjoyed your tallented writes,.,so heartfelt and so sorry for your lost ..<3 much luv and hugs <3 Sk

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/8/2013 10:25:00 AM

Hi SK, always in my thoughts, yes it is sad, he went away in a month, it was so fast. Thank you so much SK. Have a great week. Love Terry xoxo

David Williams

Date: 4/7/2013 1:03:00 PM

Terry this is a wonderful write...David

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/7/2013 1:31:00 PM

Hi David, always so nice to pass by. Thank you so much. Terry

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 4/7/2013 12:52:00 PM

Terry, can i share your primary emotion... It is hard losing a loved one. you poem just makes me sad... thank you for sharing..Linda

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/7/2013 1:30:00 PM

Hi PD, thank yo so much for reading my poem and sharing my pain. Love Terry xoxo I hope you are doing ok to.

Suzanne Delaney

Date: 4/6/2013 11:32:00 PM

Terry I just stumbled across this one and feel so sad for the loss of your dear brother. Your grief is expressed amazingly,,,Take care SuZ

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/6/2013 11:46:00 PM

Hi Suzanne, thank you for passing by, yes i am so sad, about loosing my young bother to cancer of the lungs. Its so nice to feel i am not alone. Have a nice week. Love Terry xoxo

Donna Jones

Date: 4/6/2013 9:49:00 AM

Therese, this broke my heart...when go through these times it is hard to see past our own pain to the why of it. I myself look to the only peace I know..Isaiah 57:2, says the righteous find rest as they lie in death and are taken to be spared from evil...big hugs...Donna

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/6/2013 10:19:00 AM

Oh Donna, i believe God send you to write what i wanted to read. I don't know how to thank you , i am living like in another world, full of question marks. Maybe because i am older. You are so sweet and human. Love Terry xoxo

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire

Date: 4/5/2013 3:04:00 PM

Dear Therese,YOUR words brought Tears to my eyes. So sorry for YOUR loss.I'm sure YOU will be in the Winners Circle with this Awesome display of Emotion. Superb Pen. Thank-YOU for Congratulations.My Prayers are with YOU and those YOU LOVE. With LOVE ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR Eternal Liege...Harry

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/5/2013 4:54:00 PM

Now You brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful message. Thank you so so much. Terry xoxo

Debbie Duncan

Date: 4/3/2013 11:40:00 AM

Awesomely written poem you got there. I wrote one called MY Brother Bill, I remember about a month after he came to my front door, it was open, winked at me, then gone. Then he came in a dream with my mom. They had smiles. I really wanted my mom to stay .

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/3/2013 1:55:00 PM

Hi Debbie, thank you so much for your sharing my pain. Love Terry xoxo

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 4/3/2013 9:47:00 AM

powerful painful poem..touched my heart.Im sure the pain of cancer faded away forever now unlike his soul which remains alive and ever si close to you.Here is just a short passage to the beginning of happiness dear.hugs..to my favs

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/3/2013 10:36:00 AM

Thank you Charmaine for feeling my pain. I will write to you later on. Love to both of you mother & daughter. Love Terry xoxoxo

Lucilla Carrillo

Date: 4/1/2013 4:43:00 PM

Terry; My heart goes out to you. You are never alone. Jesus is holding you by your hand. Lucilla

Therese Bacha
Date: 4/1/2013 5:07:00 PM

Thank you so much Lucilla, i know I have Jesus and you. Its so sad to miss a person whom one loved so much. Just to go away in only a month time. Thanks. Love Terry xoxoxo

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/31/2013 4:09:00 PM

oh my goodness, Terry. I came here just thinking about you after what I posted last night and saw your reply to me. Don't worry about getting back with me quickly. take all the time you need. So very sorry for your grief.

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/31/2013 6:08:00 PM

Thank you Andrea, i know i can be myself with you. Love Terry xoxoxo

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 3/31/2013 8:40:00 AM

Dear Terry, the way you take your stress and woes and use your imagination to turn them into such a poem as this one is incredible. To imagine taking your heart and soul to court. That shows such a creative mind. May God be with you today and especially with your dear brother. I know Happy Easter does not fit this occasion. So I will just tell you, I hope you have a peaceful Easter day.

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/31/2013 10:55:00 AM

Hi Andrea. Thank you Andrea, my brother passed away this morning. I will see you later. Love Terry xoxoxo

Don Johnson

Date: 3/31/2013 1:31:00 AM

the suffering side in the earth we do dwell, the awful infliction, the cancer of hell, yet we try to survive, yet we try, please don't let my sweet loved one die, and sometimes our lord he does answer...

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/31/2013 10:54:00 AM

Hi Don, thank you so much for your sense of humor, you ease my pain. Love Terry xoxo

Len Gasun

Date: 3/30/2013 7:30:00 PM

This is a beautifully sad poem my dear friend Therese. So touching but I've enjoyed reading your story this morning. I hope this is only a fiction. There are times that things in life seems unbearable but I know God is always there and He never forsake because He love the world and He love us so much. I hope you're doing well. God bless you and Happy Easter! thanks for sharing this gem of yours today! love and big hugs, Leonora

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/30/2013 8:45:00 PM

Thank you so much Leonora, but it is true, he is 71 years old, unfortunately living in a far country, and due to my health i could not join him, being alone is hurting me a lot. I know God is great, and will receive him when his time is out. Thank you again, i felt your warmth. Love Terry xoxo

Eileen Manassian

Date: 3/30/2013 9:27:00 AM

Therese, I'm so so sorry you are going through this....a brother is a treasure! I have two older brothers. Being helpless is the worst part of it all. That voice you heard is the voice of God telling you that it is all in His hands. Sending you love!

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/30/2013 10:01:00 AM

Thank you Eileen so much. Happy Easter. Love Terry xoxo

Russell Sivey

Date: 3/30/2013 6:10:00 AM

Wow, this is a very descriptive work of sadness and grief my friend! I hope and wish that these feelings like this are just fiction and aren't a true depiction of your life! I really loved reading this incredible poem this morning! What a passionately written piece Terry, Great Work!!

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/30/2013 6:34:00 AM

Thank you Russell, its so sweet of you to pass by. Your true feelings always brings joy to my life. Love Terry xoxo

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 3/30/2013 5:44:00 AM

Life real world ..... despair over not getting the answers one wonder ..... waiting ..... and waiting ....... even more desperate. - A very well written poem dear Terry! - Wishing you nice Easter days. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)

Therese Bacha
Date: 3/30/2013 6:33:00 AM

Thank you Anne, you are so human, so faithful and lovable. Happy Easter. Terry xoxoxo