My Primary Emotion

~ My Primary Emotion~

Three days ago I decided to become heartless by
eliminating my Spirit and Soul I could not take
the agony anymore.

I urged my lawyer to come, he looked at me and 
asked, what is wrong? Gazing at him said, 
I don't regret committing that felony against them 
I need to be punished lets go to court. 

Having no reaction, looking disoriented he 
opened the door walked me to his car & drove 
to court.
 
Standing opposite the judge I stared at 
him bluntly, he was reviewing my report 
looked at me ushered to sit in the box 
to be persecuted.

The defense lawyer aware of my crimes 
seemed intrigued and asked, madam 
what caused you to retaliate against your 
Spirit & Soul?.

I needed to disrupt their thoughts which 
turned against me, the chaos in my brain 
became unbearable, exhausted by their 
discussions aggravated my strength 
weakened me, my whole body was 
antagonizing, intentionally forcing my 
thoughts to become heartless, merciless
when I attacked them.

Both profited from my kindness my 
patience, my healing was not responding,
needing some peace to pray for a miracle
as my young brother today is near death, 
cancer of the lungs, he`s getting colder by 
the minute, not eating, not socializing, alone, 
my tears were overflowing beyond control,
when I heard a friendly whisper coming from 
my Heart crying, enough is enough your thoughts 
need to stop to allow yourself recognize wrath is 
unbearable, your sorrow is taking you nowhere, 
wait for the diagnosis.

Out of compassion the judge set me free
my kindness befriended my Spirit & Soul
together we went back home. Waiting. 

I was surrounded by them knowing
ahead of me will be the longest night 
I will ever experience in years, because 
I was determined to stay awake 
for that call.

The echo of the ringer came louder than usual
we heard this message! 
Minutes ago he was wide awake
Minutes ago his heart tore him away
minutes ago his casket was carried astray
minutes ago underground he will lay.
Minutes ago I wished him an endless
goodbye with a sigh.

My friends held me step by step walked
me to bed covered me up stayed until I had 
no more tears to shed. 
Those were my emotions for today. Grieving
over the loss of my young brother. Sadness.

Therese Bacha
2/4/2013                              
Contest of Dan Williams. Primary Emotion Today..
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Komala Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 11:07 PM
hi my sweetest poetess Terry,,,not to mention how i enjoyed your tallented writes,.,so heartfelt and so sorry for your lost ..<3 much luv and hugs <3 Sk
Bacha Avatar
April 8, 2013 at 10:25 AM
Hi SK, always in my thoughts, yes it is sad, he went away in a month, it was so fast. Thank you so much SK. Have a great week. Love Terry xoxo
Williams Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 1:03 PM
Terry this is a wonderful write...David
Bacha Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Hi David, always so nice to pass by. Thank you so much. Terry
A   Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 12:52 PM
Terry, can i share your primary emotion... It is hard losing a loved one. you poem just makes me sad... thank you for sharing..Linda
Bacha Avatar
April 7, 2013 at 1:30 PM
Hi PD, thank yo so much for reading my poem and sharing my pain. Love Terry xoxo I hope you are doing ok to.
Delaney Avatar
April 6, 2013 at 11:32 PM
Terry I just stumbled across this one and feel so sad for the loss of your dear brother. Your grief is expressed amazingly,,,Take care SuZ
Bacha Avatar
April 6, 2013 at 11:46 PM
Hi Suzanne, thank you for passing by, yes i am so sad, about loosing my young bother to cancer of the lungs. Its so nice to feel i am not alone. Have a nice week. Love Terry xoxo
Jones Avatar
April 6, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Therese, this broke my heart...when go through these times it is hard to see past our own pain to the why of it. I myself look to the only peace I know..Isaiah 57:2, says the righteous find rest as they lie in death and are taken to be spared from evil...big hugs...Donna
Bacha Avatar
April 6, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Oh Donna, i believe God send you to write what i wanted to read. I don't know how to thank you , i am living like in another world, full of question marks. Maybe because i am older. You are so sweet and human. Love Terry xoxo
Esquire Avatar
April 5, 2013 at 3:04 PM
Dear Therese,YOUR words brought Tears to my eyes. So sorry for YOUR loss.I'm sure YOU will be in the Winners Circle with this Awesome display of Emotion. Superb Pen. Thank-YOU for Congratulations.My Prayers are with YOU and those YOU LOVE. With LOVE ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR Eternal Liege...Harry
Bacha Avatar
April 5, 2013 at 4:54 PM
Now You brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful message. Thank you so so much. Terry xoxo
Duncan Avatar
April 3, 2013 at 11:40 AM
Awesomely written poem you got there. I wrote one called MY Brother Bill, I remember about a month after he came to my front door, it was open, winked at me, then gone. Then he came in a dream with my mom. They had smiles. I really wanted my mom to stay .
Bacha Avatar
April 3, 2013 at 1:55 PM
Hi Debbie, thank you so much for your sharing my pain. Love Terry xoxo
Chircop Avatar
April 3, 2013 at 9:47 AM
powerful painful poem..touched my heart.Im sure the pain of cancer faded away forever now unlike his soul which remains alive and ever si close to you.Here is just a short passage to the beginning of happiness dear.hugs..to my favs
Bacha Avatar
April 3, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Thank you Charmaine for feeling my pain. I will write to you later on. Love to both of you mother & daughter. Love Terry xoxoxo
Carrillo Avatar
April 1, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Terry; My heart goes out to you. You are never alone. Jesus is holding you by your hand. Lucilla
Bacha Avatar
April 1, 2013 at 5:07 PM
Thank you so much Lucilla, i know I have Jesus and you. Its so sad to miss a person whom one loved so much. Just to go away in only a month time. Thanks. Love Terry xoxoxo
Dietrich Avatar
March 31, 2013 at 4:09 PM
oh my goodness, Terry. I came here just thinking about you after what I posted last night and saw your reply to me. Don't worry about getting back with me quickly. take all the time you need. So very sorry for your grief.
Bacha Avatar
March 31, 2013 at 6:08 PM
Thank you Andrea, i know i can be myself with you. Love Terry xoxoxo
Dietrich Avatar
March 31, 2013 at 8:40 AM
Dear Terry, the way you take your stress and woes and use your imagination to turn them into such a poem as this one is incredible. To imagine taking your heart and soul to court. That shows such a creative mind. May God be with you today and especially with your dear brother. I know Happy Easter does not fit this occasion. So I will just tell you, I hope you have a peaceful Easter day.
Bacha Avatar
March 31, 2013 at 10:55 AM
Hi Andrea. Thank you Andrea, my brother passed away this morning. I will see you later. Love Terry xoxoxo
Johnson Avatar
March 31, 2013 at 1:31 AM
the suffering side in the earth we do dwell, the awful infliction, the cancer of hell, yet we try to survive, yet we try, please don't let my sweet loved one die, and sometimes our lord he does answer...
Bacha Avatar
March 31, 2013 at 10:54 AM
Hi Don, thank you so much for your sense of humor, you ease my pain. Love Terry xoxo
Gasun Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 7:30 PM
This is a beautifully sad poem my dear friend Therese. So touching but I've enjoyed reading your story this morning. I hope this is only a fiction. There are times that things in life seems unbearable but I know God is always there and He never forsake because He love the world and He love us so much. I hope you're doing well. God bless you and Happy Easter! thanks for sharing this gem of yours today! love and big hugs, Leonora
Bacha Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Thank you so much Leonora, but it is true, he is 71 years old, unfortunately living in a far country, and due to my health i could not join him, being alone is hurting me a lot. I know God is great, and will receive him when his time is out. Thank you again, i felt your warmth. Love Terry xoxo
Manassian Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 9:27 AM
Therese, I'm so so sorry you are going through this....a brother is a treasure! I have two older brothers. Being helpless is the worst part of it all. That voice you heard is the voice of God telling you that it is all in His hands. Sending you love!
Bacha Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Thank you Eileen so much. Happy Easter. Love Terry xoxo
Sivey Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 6:10 AM
Wow, this is a very descriptive work of sadness and grief my friend! I hope and wish that these feelings like this are just fiction and aren't a true depiction of your life! I really loved reading this incredible poem this morning! What a passionately written piece Terry, Great Work!!
Bacha Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 6:34 AM
Thank you Russell, its so sweet of you to pass by. Your true feelings always brings joy to my life. Love Terry xoxo
Andresen Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 5:44 AM
Life real world ..... despair over not getting the answers one wonder ..... waiting ..... and waiting ....... even more desperate. - A very well written poem dear Terry! - Wishing you nice Easter days. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
Bacha Avatar
March 30, 2013 at 6:33 AM
Thank you Anne, you are so human, so faithful and lovable. Happy Easter. Terry xoxoxo
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace