My Poetry Session of ANXIOUS sorrow

Hours and hours of wasting time has escalated my anxieties… I'm sorry, God, I'm addicted to so many bad behaviors… Powers enlighten my mindset, and flowers make me feel at ease Dementia kicking in as I procrastinate and make several errors Wandering in the woods of my wreckage and what not Pondering when it's my time to shine and not to rot I'm giving it the best shot I got…all is, of course, naught My heart is broken, and my lips are left unspoken a lot Ripped and torn I am, after all, forlorn Chained to this insanity over and over again and I am caught in the chords of my sins…so full of fear… Captivity made me feel so far away from liberty's realm of thought - where does it begin and end here? I gave in to looking up **** You're a thorn to my side I'm a husk without any corn You planted me a grave inside The seeds of deception and corruption Came in my mind and I hate your assumption Of whom I have become… This insecure guy, so numb I'm so dumb like this floor-bound bread crumb I'm irked by berserk muses, abusing me sevenfold It's time to change and repent of what I've done, unlike some I urge you therefore to be full of mercy before I grow too old Drowning in my lonesome, long-lost pain Not bold enough to face the light of the rain Guilt overflows…guilt overflows once again…I feel defeated by lust and I'm so incomplete Where has my mind been? In the gutters of your sensual, sulking, and shameful street? Tears are no longer fallen from my eyes I am sick and tired of giving in to his lies Bless my saturated soul and spirit of sorrows beyond measure Because I gave in to temptation and that perverted pleasure… Know that I still love the biblical scriptures of righteousness I am just done feeling this distress and hopelessness… I don't at all feel sorry for myself anymore… I'm completely shattered apart to the core… I can't live another moment without you, sanity and youth To truly tell you the truth -- coming from being a forlorner -- I wish I was dead instead of feeling this dread from the start I don't want to live with this awfully broken heart any longer I am under the spell of oh-well-go-to-hell and whatever-I-don't-care kind of mentality This fantasy inside me has gone so out of hand…understand that I'm unhappy in reality I've been deprived of a sense of belonging and seems like life is so unfair and uncanny No one cares that I'm wallowing in withering, warped-up wistfulness and avarice-like agony Agitated to the max and all I need to do is truly relax and look at the facts, oh at last! I was foolish for giving in to my hideous, disturbing and bothersome issues of whorish splendor Issues of self-indulging, pleasure-seeking laziness and lousiness in my relapsing past I'm languished with anguish, and you don't give me the light of day, so I sing the blues to the core Fatigued and annoyed by the apps of ads that keep on ringing in my cranium kingdom of shame…taming my flames of I'm-to-blame I was so dumb and acting ridiculous…but I forgive myself somewhat somehow Intrigued and curious about when I will be recognized for all the writing I've done…financially and emotionally losing this game… I'm sorry for everything that you read in this poetry section of my life anyhow I am not sorry for expressing and suppressing and addressing My lows and highs…my mind and heart can't fathom all these overwhelming emotions…I've wept seas of efflorescent rainbows due to leaving behind His knowledge and understanding for my abominable, destructive desires and devotions God hears my prayer forevermore -- I know, I can get depressing Hear out my pleas and cries, oh Father of love…His Sabbath rest is as significant as infinity X infinity and His wisdom is as vast as crossing over deserts and oceans…please kill the old man inside me, impregnating me with notions of corruptions Enough of me ranting endlessly… Oh yes, I can reverse this tragedy By simply praying to Him earnestly God, free me from despondency…