Laurie Mahoney Poet Ballad

My Own Worst Enemy

YOU'LL NEVER WEAR THE CROWN
NO BETS YOU'LL WIN THE RACE
NO MEDALS ON YOUR CHEST
NO TROPHIES FOR YOUR FACE 
NO ONE COULD EVER LOVE YOU 
YOU'LL NEVER MEASURE UP 
DON'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING 
YOU'LL NEVER BE ENOUGH 
THESE THOUGHTS SWIRL IN MY HEAD 
I'M DROWNING IN SELF DOUBT 
THE FEAR TRIES TO CONSUME ME 
MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I DON'T COUNT 
I HAVE TO BREAK THESE CHAINS 
SEE THE BEAUTY INSIDE ME 
NEED TO CHANGE MY OWN PERCEPTION 
I'M MY OWN WORST ENEMY 
I WAS JUST A A LITTLE KID
WHEN THESE FEELINGS GOT THEIR START
THE OLDER ONE WAS PRETTY 
THE YOUNGER ONE WAS SMART
I WAS NOTHING SPECIAL 
WAS JUST THE IN BETWEEN 
A SHY CLUMSY TODDLER 
THEN AN AWKARD NERVOUS TEEN
MET WITH LOTS OF BULLIES
AT THE SCHOOLYARD ALONG THE WAY
THEY SENSED MY INSECURITIES 
THAT I WAS EASY PREY 
EVEN THOUGH IT'S LONG AGO
BAD MEMORIES FROM THE PAST
IT'S FUNNY HOW HURT FEELINGS 
ALWAYS SEEM TO LAST
I'M SO TIRED OF FEELING USELESS
LONELY IN SUCH PAIN 
SCREW THIS INSECURITY
JUST TOSS IT DOWN THE DRAIN
I'M PROUD TO STAND IN MY SHOES
I'M PERFECT IN MY WAY
AND I KNOW THAT ONE DAY SOON
I'LL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO SAY
I HAVE NO MORE FEARS
I'VE RELEASED ALL MY SELF DOUBTS
I'VE CHASED OFF MY DEMONS
REALIZED THAT I COUNT
HAD ENOUGH OF FEELING WORTHLESS
LONELY AND AFRAID
NO MORE GOING BACKWARDS
IT'S A PROMISE THAT I MADE

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John Gondolf October 27, 2017 at 11:45 AM Very well stated, Laurie, be strong, you made a promise to yourself! Laurie Mahoney October 28, 2017 at 5:53 PM Thank you so much!

Vicki Bekker October 22, 2017 at 6:18 AM I now the tale too well and some times the out come of the poem, I find the lage letter a scream that i too relate to, the spin on the end i fell is anger needed to toss it down down the drain Laurie Mahoney October 22, 2017 at 8:43 AM I fight it every day. And I hate it.