My Life

what am i living for ? for eating, sleeping and working... what is so special in my life ? whenever i sit alone ,i keep on crying for something that i want very much, for something that i cant find... and this thing made me hate everything around me , even the nearest person to me. i hate myself for not changing my life, for not being happy , for not being genuine with my self, for not being extrovert for obliging myself to be detached from the world and from the people around me. but i the love the Sara in me , the Sara that's sleeping deeply in my soul waiting for me to wake up her... but my question is :is she going to help me??? some people born to be happy and to have a nice, easy life but some people born to have a tough and a hard life... why do i have to be from the second kind ??? i keep telling myself : im the happiest person on earth, which is not . i try to fill my time in anything to stop the feeling of ****** , because it hurts my soul a lot , and it's hard to be healed again ...