Akkina Downing | + Follow Poet |
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My Letter To Santa

Dear Santa

You see Santa,
In just a few days it would have been my brother's 30th birthday
Would've been a big celebration 
Instead I will be spending it alone 
Lost in all kinds of thoughts and emotions again 
          angry
       heartbroken
          crying
Missing him even more than you can imagine

You see Santa
I never said goodbye to him that day
I never told him I loved him that day
BECAUSE I WASN'T HOME that day
My guilt still burn it hurts more than ever 
Sometimes I wonder if he was mad I wasn't there
And that escalate to another level of guilt

So Santa
What I'm asking you is 
If you can deliver a message to my brother
Please tell him I wish him 
 "a Heavenly happy 30th birthday"
      And that I love him forever 
I'm sure he's having a big white Heaven's garden birthday party with all the Angels

Tell him I can't wait for when my time is come, we need to have a serious chat about our promises to be the god-parent to each other's kid... what's up with that! 
Well I'm just as happy I can't ever have kids in this physical world without him being the god-father

Santa,
Please bring me back a message from my brother
I need to hear it...



12-05-17
Contest: Move me and others
Sponsored by: Madison Demetros

Copyright © Akkina Downing | Year Posted 2017

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Angela Crabtree Date: 11/26/2020 7:19:00 PM A very beautiful message you have written here, Akkina. Wishing you a wonderful night, my friend :) Login to Reply

Anisha Dutta Date: 12/28/2017 11:20:00 PM So touchy. Surely your message will be carried. Love. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/29/2017 10:44:00 AM Thank you so much Anisha! Hugs and smiles :)

Andrea Dietrich Date: 12/18/2017 5:21:00 PM Loved what you commented to me down here. I only see these replies if I chance to click on a poem again!! Login to Reply Andrea Dietrich Date: 12/23/2017 7:58:00 PM there is a reply to reply inbox? I will have to see. I didn't know it. Akkina Downing Date: 12/18/2017 7:27:00 PM You can always see comments in your reply inbox... Hugs and smiles :)

Andrea Dietrich Date: 12/10/2017 8:01:00 PM This is the kind of Christmas wish we have when we miss someone horribly. I lost mine in 1985. He was still fairly young and I KNOW he is having parties in heaven. Wonderful poem, Akkina Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/11/2017 6:31:00 PM Oh I'm sure they have nice parties up there. I do have a feeling our brothers are friends too :)

Edward Mccall Date: 12/9/2017 9:28:00 PM Hello Kina my dear friend; Your letter to Santa is the most moving one I have ever read. I believe that when we reach heaven that we are filled with all knowledge of our loved ones hearts. That being said I believe your brother knows how much you love and miss him and if he could he would shout down from heaven I love you too. Gentle hugs and warm smiles. :-) Edward. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/10/2017 6:56:00 AM You are so sweet Ed, thank you so much. I think you're right, they do. That made me smile :) hugs and smiles :)

Winged Warrior Date: 12/9/2017 8:33:00 AM Akkina my dear friend such a sad touching write...but I'm sure your brother has the biggest white smile for you...because where he is now all hearts are open and he knows what's is inside your heart...a supernova of smiles to you my friend...god bless and blessed holidays to your family...^WW^ Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/9/2017 9:37:00 AM ^WW^, my dear friend, you're beautiful comment made me smile. Thank you so much! Hugs and smiles :)

James Inman Date: 12/9/2017 12:54:00 AM Such a touching write Akkina. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/9/2017 7:43:00 AM Thank you James :)

Anne-Lise Andresen Date: 12/8/2017 2:16:00 PM - A heartbreaking wish, Akkina - Luck in the contest - Lovely weekend for you :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :) Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/8/2017 2:34:00 PM Thank you so much Anne... Hugs and smiles :)

Maria Williams Date: 12/7/2017 10:19:00 PM My dearest friend my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel and after reading this wonderful poem of yours it made me very emotional, and brought back some sad memories. I was the only one who who didn't get a chance to say goodbye to my mother. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/8/2017 5:39:00 AM Aww, I'm so for yours too my dear Maria. And thank you, I you're right he'd want me to be happy. Thanks girlfriend... hugs and smiles :) Maria Williams Date: 12/7/2017 10:21:00 PM But you know Akkina we are the only ones who beat ourselves up. Your brother I'm sure will be looking down on you and wanting you not to worry. Take care my friend and smile...Maria xxx

James Swartz Date: 12/7/2017 5:14:00 PM This is one emotional poem. Your words brougt sorrow to me. Maybe he is looking down on you and wishing he could tell you that you should feel no guilt and you should be as happy you can be. I did enjoy this heart wrenching poem Akkina. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/7/2017 6:47:00 PM Awe thank you so much my dear friend James. That means a lot to me. I think you're right, he'd be wanting me to stay happy. And I will. Thanks dear! Hugs and smiles :)

Richard Lamoureux Date: 12/7/2017 5:07:00 PM A touching emotional piece about your brother. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Someone told me grief is like being in the ocean and when you try to take another breath you are met by a wave. Eventually the waves lessen but you never know when another will cover you. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/7/2017 6:41:00 PM Oh but that is so true. Thank you Richard, very much... hugs and smiles :)

Susan Ashley Date: 12/7/2017 7:31:00 AM Oh Kina, your heartfelt and heartrending poem misted my eyes. Your pained and loving emotion expressed is so palpable and soul-stirring. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dearly beloved brother and your beautifully written words sadly strummed my heartstrings. His star in heaven shines on you my dear and lovely friend. Warmest wishes and hugs for you always. ~Susan Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 12/7/2017 5:34:00 PM It's a loving and natural thing Kina to feel the mourning of your brother's loss but to also be happy that he's not suffering anymore. Your heart is a beautiful place and I bet he's thrilled to be in it.. Akkina Downing Date: 12/7/2017 9:37:00 AM Ah Susan my dear friend, you have no idea how much your sweet and touching comment mean to me. Today was his birthday and I baked a cake for him. I know I should be happy he's not suffering anymore, but I just can't help it... Thank you again my sweet friend... xoxo

Silent One Date: 12/7/2017 6:00:00 AM Now I understand why you liked that poem so much, sometimes we never get a chance to say goodbye... Touching poem and a harsh reality of life.. So many lose someone and wished they had done things differently, said something at the time, but we do not know, so it is wrong to blame oneself... Touching and moving poem.. I am sure your brother is smiling down at you from heaven.. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/7/2017 9:29:00 AM Yes it was exactly why I loved it. I've actually read it a few more times. Thank you so much Silent One, your words helps me today... hugs and smiles :)

Freddie Robinson Jr. Date: 12/6/2017 9:47:00 PM A very heartfelt poem, Akkina. I'm sure your brother knew in his heart how much you loved him. Love goes deeper than words unsaid. A touching poem w/a lot of emotional depth. Love and joy always. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/7/2017 9:30:00 AM I thank you Freddie, you're touching comment helps me today. Thank you my dear friend... hugs and smiles :)

Tim Smith Date: 12/6/2017 10:07:00 AM He is shining down on you Kina...it is a beautiful message Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/6/2017 11:19:00 AM Thank you so much Tim, that made me smile :) hugs and smiles :)

Vijay Pandit Date: 12/6/2017 6:46:00 AM It certainly moved me--your poem is full of love and care--hope you find comfort in heavenly blessings--well done, Akkina--best for a win! Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/6/2017 8:57:00 AM Thanks so much Vijay, your comment is greatly appreciated. Truly! Hugs and smiles :)

Heidi Sands Date: 12/6/2017 6:30:00 AM This is very moving and I can see him having a party with the angels, while knowing how you feel. Take care Akkina :) Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/6/2017 8:49:00 AM Thank you so much Miss Heidi, that means a lot. Hugs and smiles :)

Arturo Michael Date: 12/6/2017 5:57:00 AM A lovely letter...which your brother probably received long before you wrote...All the best Akkina Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/6/2017 6:13:00 AM I sure hope so, and thank you so much Arturo, that means a lot... hugs and smiles :)

S.Zaynab Kamoonpuri Date: 12/6/2017 3:25:00 AM Oh this is said so sweetly touching n moving indeed. Really about a brother? Yes a partying with Angels. Thumbs up. Soo nice to read from u again, hope u will my latest too if it may cheer u. Login to Reply Akkina Downing Date: 12/6/2017 5:07:00 AM Thank you so much... hugs and smiles :)