My Kubla Kahn Funeral Please

Here are my instructions for when I leave this world to go into the “magic realm of possibilities”, the heaven on another plane. For it will be so much better, it will make this Earth life seem like the bowels of hell. Some of us are doing our best to create a heaven on earth here, but it’s still not heaven. Right? When I pass through to my next adventure, I do not want sadness. I do not expect and will not appreciate wailing or whining. This earthly body which is worn out, and toothless does not want or need an expensive casket or a tombstone. Have you met me? Would I want you to give people a sad place to go and feel badly? Here are my specifications, short, sweet, and to be followed by whomever cares. Laugh loud and hard, tell funny stories, pretend I was a comedienne. Be glad because I am in a very jazzy, graciously wonderful place. Dance and whirl and twirl and hum. I want you to celebrate my life with a “party.” If you make my grandchildren cry, I will hunt you down, and you will have the next party. I want you to play my favorite songs –“99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall- all verses, and I mean it, “Puff the Magic Dragon”, and Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.” If you really want to get carried away, you may play Liza Minnelli’s “Liza with a Z”. But be careful; this could easily hook you forever on her music. If someone loves me enough to do this, please read Samuel Coleridge’s poem “Kubla Khan” at my celebration of life party. I guarantee I will be there, and I will love it! Thanks in advance.