Home » Poems » James Edward Lee Sr. » My Heart Yet Beats For You-

My Heart Yet Beats For You-

Mine eyes see the bareness of her presents
Equipping my heart with your last breath
An earnest warm gentle kiss
These substantial most
Flowing,  streaming
Whilst my heart yet beating

7/10/21
Written By James Edward Lee Sr.

appreciationfor heri lovelight verse

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L Milton Hankins

December 26, 2021 at 3:43 PM

I found the poem overall interesting, but I was somewhat stunned by the last stanza which changed the whole tone of the writing as well as my feeling about what the poem was about.

L Milton Hankins

December 26, 2021 at 3:37 PM

I'm sorry, but I don't really follow the intent of this poem. The archaic "Whilst" is very stilted, as is "Mine eyes." I find a conversational tone works best for me, James. For example, what are "the bareness of her presents?" What does this mean?

James Edward Lee Sr.

January 5, 2022 at 4:12 AM

Milton, thanks for stopping by to read my fictional-metaphoric verse... To this fictional artistic ruse"the bareness of her presence " her " represents humanity Viewing with the spiritual eye "loving and forgiving one beyond their habits and wrong choices" looking beyond until one's true self ... Thanks James

My Heart Yet Beats For You-

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