My Heart

Just a writing-don't get the wrong impression-lol- My heart is so full of sorrow of pain and sadness- it weeps and runs towards where the light cannot reach and return- towards where the red fires merge- at the edge of my existence- I run toward death a place where there is nothing but anguish- suffering-waves of destruction and cross's of the dead- It makes my heart feel like moaning the longest of sobs- I want to return I cry-I want my heart to whirl with the stars above the earth above the cold clay- I do not want to cling to the chains that bind me over this terrable loneliness- My trembling soul moves toward the abyss that half opens its lips in the earth-devouring my world- I feel alone-like the first dead man-naked- imprisoned by the red sulphere that looks immensely like hell-where threads of my blood pass burning- I feel the foreboding ash jump-my heart weeps in a place where misery is born and dies- It's all filled with phosphorous falling drop by drop leaving me its burning- It's filled with curls of fire and defeated souls- I climb the steps in the hostile night- I want to open a door in my heart-that's what I want- I scream-I cry-I weep-I suffer-I am weak- I do not want to run the distance towards where there is nothing but emptiness - I sob falling inward from skin to soul- River of nightmares my voice leaps up and is lost- Rosarys of anguish I did not pray for this- Desperate thread-my heart did not twist it- Beyond my dark walls-beyond my boundaries I cry out-I weep-I suffer-I lift my arms toward the night so full of souls in defeat- My cracked voice-my shattered soul- My wasted years wounded and broken- My lonliness has returned-the same lonliness that my heart raised in night- the same night from where they return- I suffer-I weep-I cry- my suffering is no longer of this world- the night so full of lost souls....California Blue