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My Heart

Just a writing-don't get the wrong impression-lol-

My heart is so full of sorrow of pain and sadness-

it weeps and runs towards where the light

cannot reach and return-

towards where the red fires merge-

at the edge of my existence-

I run toward death a place 

where there is nothing but anguish-

suffering-waves of destruction and cross's of the dead-

It makes my heart feel like moaning the longest of sobs-

I want to return I cry-I want my heart to whirl with

the stars above the earth above the cold clay-

I do not want to cling to the chains that bind me

over this terrable loneliness- 

My trembling soul moves toward the abyss that half

opens its lips in the earth-devouring my world-

I feel alone-like the first dead man-naked-

imprisoned by the red sulphere that looks immensely

like hell-where threads of my blood pass burning-

I feel the foreboding ash jump-my heart weeps

in a place where misery is born and dies-

It's all filled with phosphorous falling

drop by drop leaving me its burning-

It's filled with curls of fire and defeated souls-

I climb the steps in the hostile night-

I want to open a door in my heart-that's what I want-

I scream-I cry-I weep-I suffer-I am weak-

I do not want to run the distance towards

where there is nothing but emptiness -

I sob falling inward from skin to soul-

River of nightmares my voice leaps up and is lost-

Rosarys of anguish I did not pray for this-

Desperate thread-my heart did not twist it-

Beyond my dark walls-beyond my boundaries

I cry out-I weep-I suffer-I lift my arms toward

the night so full of souls in defeat-

My cracked voice-my shattered soul-

My wasted years wounded and broken-

My lonliness has returned-the same lonliness

that my heart raised in night-

the same night from where they return-

I suffer-I weep-I cry-

my suffering is no longer of this world-

the night so full of lost souls....California Blue

Copyright © Gordon Wickstrom | Year Posted 2016

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