My Funny Valentine

I love you like a four-year-old loves playing Hunt the Thimble: I want you like Inspector Gerard wants cuffs on Richard Kimble. As Mork has eyes for Mindy, I am crazy, too - no, loonier! But, to ensnare you, I'll do "square", like Efrem Zimbalist Junior. As Elly May loves critters, and young Jethro worships Jed, I tell the world that you're my girl, verbose as Mister Ed. I seal each letter with a kiss, just like I'm Brian Hyland: immaculate in every way, immune from dirt, or tooth decay, you've never known a Bad Hair Day, like the girls on Gilligan's Island