my friends tragedies

I have a friend who can take any and every story Turn it into a scenario about her tragedies If you mention lemonade, she has been poisoned by lemonade Gripe about your mother? Hers made Mommy Dearest look kind. Willow tree? One fell on her neck and she nearly died. Lightning bugs? She was attacked by a swarm of them. Hearts and flowers? No one ever sent her any. No one cares about her. No one takes care of her. No one loves her. Even her own parents did not like her. Her brother? He was cow dung. Her sister? She stole from the family. I am beginning to see a little pattern.