Notes About The Poem

MY FEARS

When four, I knew my soul had claustrophobia in it.
More than once it has caused me public panic fits. 
Once, I declined a job located in a super high rise
for fear it would sway or rock me to an awful demise.
As cures I plan no coffin, avoid full planes, tight spaces,
roof edges and elevators with terrifying glass faces. 

Often before sleep, I think the devil visits from hell.
He attempts to solidify my fears of sorrow that dwell 
on my Mother’s death which is a normal eventuality
and my treasured love’s death which none can foresee.
I can bid the devil to depart back to dark fairly easily;
changing my head's channel often works as a remedy.

But I cannot grasp, shake, rationalize or compromise make
a fear that causes my angst to quake, my emotions to break.
I turn to God in constant prayer, seeking my answer there.
I ask God for His soothing and a solution He will share.
Thoughts of my challenged son’s life after I am gone
grow my despair and tears from the worry they spawn.

Who will hug him good night and then again each dawn?
Who will love him to ensure his self-value dwells on?
He will need a loving touch and acceptance to lean on.
I fear and hurt, knowing such blessings are not foregone.
I would rather be sealed in a coffin on a roof way high
than my precious one be love abandoned after I die.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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White Avatar
December 11, 2016 at 12:31 PM
I love seeing your son. He looks lovely :) And I wave at him.
La France Avatar
December 8, 2016 at 9:25 AM
Caycay CONGRATULATIONS on your win in my contest with this beautifully penned poem full of emotion, well done ~
White Avatar
December 7, 2016 at 11:23 AM
We share a 7th place together. Congratulations :)
Breedt Avatar
October 27, 2016 at 6:20 AM
You write with such ease and eloquence. You draw us others into your trusting confidence. I just love your work and not surprised at all your wins. But you have a cheeky competitiveness so as you may outwrite us
Marcum Wong Avatar
October 4, 2016 at 1:00 PM
CayCay I can relate to this poem on a personal level. I have some of the same fears that began when I was a baby and accidentally almost smothered. I think we all live for our children. You have expressed your fears profoundly in this beautiful poem.7 : )
Inman Avatar
October 4, 2016 at 8:37 AM
The fear of not being there for your children is the greatest fear a parent can have. I feel it every day for my two daughters. A wonderful write CayCay with which I can strongly relate.
Chircop Avatar
October 1, 2016 at 4:53 PM
I do suffer claustrophobia in confined spaces...I dont feel it so much in aeroplanes though..If there is ventilation from somewhere..it helps me calm down..I do feel claustophobic in hospital theatres..so always praying i wont end up in one... I can understand you..I do have a four yr old daughter...She is an only child..and again yr fear is my fear.knowing Im not the only one helps a lot..Thanks for this poem..so real.
Yvonne Avatar
October 1, 2016 at 1:52 PM
Your kind of love will shine beyond your natural love. Angels will descend to spray every centimetre of the surroundings with love. A Fav!
Leiser Avatar
September 30, 2016 at 10:17 PM
Oh, this poem is so well written and heart wrenching as well. God bless you and your son, dear CayCay!
White Avatar
September 30, 2016 at 6:30 AM
CayCay, this is very moving and I feel with you. I hope you both find ways to a future, like I found. Different way, different challenge, but still. With love, Darren.
Y. Avatar
September 29, 2016 at 11:18 PM
Hi CayCay, This piece tugged at the heart strings. I agree with Cheryl, it shows the deep love you have for your son. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis
Hoffman Avatar
September 29, 2016 at 8:19 PM
This poem shows the enormous love you must have for your son! G/L in the contest! Hugs~
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