Notes About The Poem

entered contest Father sponsered by The Silent One

My Father

His time was almost done I hugged him
his arms remained dangled by his side
His body stiffened like a board
never within him ever seemed to be a loving chord

Was it his for own lack of self esteem that he found strength
through derision and  sneering  all his family endured
Persistent anger  bullying put downs and teasing
several beatings over time I incurred

The pain of a flogging  quickly disappeared 
the constant mental bruising it hung around for many years
early days of nightmares  then anxiety and depression
adulthood  full of irrational fears followed many childhood tears

I wondered if my father was raised 
by a father who treated him as my father treated me
 never broke a long tradition to learn
the code of self love that could have set him free

My father espoused  a strong atheistic view 
it seemed from as early as I am able to recall  
He was fixated with old age and dying
he'd say there's no hereafter no more life at all

And when he died I never shed a tear 
never felt the pain of any  grief
Many years before he died I'd found freedom through self love
released chains of past hardship and thus felt so much relief

I would like it to be different but as yet 
for my father I've still not found real love
But I do send loving messages despite his disbelief in God
via the divine postie to where he is now residing happily above
Copyright © | Year Posted 2026

Poem

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Anaya Avatar
June 21, 2026 at 9:00 PM
rDear poet, I'm pleased to know you've released chains of past hardship, & found self love, this act also includes forgiveness for the unforgivable. Deeplt touching. On this day in America we celebrate Father's day, whether here or in spirit. This is also the summer solstice! Blessings
bard Avatar
June 25, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Good day Anaya Apologies for the late response Fathers day I think is celebrated here in Australia in September Your kind words are much appreciated Blessings Douglas
One Avatar
June 20, 2026 at 2:12 PM
I watched my dad die over five days, we had not spoken for years and he was unable to speak.. I can relate to your poem a bit... Congratulations on your placement in the contest..
bard Avatar
June 20, 2026 at 2:47 PM
good day Silent One Thank you for your congratulatory message Blessings Douglas
M  Avatar
June 7, 2026 at 5:45 AM
An Absolutely amazing, honest and straight from your heart write Douglas. Im sorry you suffered at the hands of your dad my friend. Love the poem….it touched me! Debx
M  Avatar
June 7, 2026 at 9:17 PM
Self love and inner peace is everything l believe Douglas! Debx
bard Avatar
June 7, 2026 at 8:47 PM
Good day Deb Thank you for your kindness. I was thirty five when i began to claim my own identity and really know who I was. My father was the springboard to launch from. I questioned every aspect of the modern world spirituality politics etc I am a passive rebel. Self love is a great place to begin. I have no regrets about my past. I value every experience I have endured Blessings Douglas
Kendrick Avatar
June 2, 2026 at 9:02 AM
Yes, most of the time when a person is like that they, also, have experienced abuse from someone. Some people decide not to carry that on, and some decide to live in the same manner. Sara K.
bard Avatar
June 2, 2026 at 3:36 PM
Good day Sarah It's not too easy to live with but it makes one stronger if one decides to make change. Thank you for your support Blessings Douglas
Smith  Avatar
May 31, 2026 at 6:49 PM
To break away from what we have learnt as a child is hard. To forgive and take the other path is to show inner strength. Much love sent your way.
bard Avatar
May 31, 2026 at 6:58 PM
Good day Alison Thank you for your reply . Your love is received with much joy. i always wanted to raise my family differently form what i experienced but sometimes fell back into inherited patterns . The best parents i think are grandparents Blessings Douglas
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