My Deepest Desire

I smile whenever I see your face.
I feel warmer when you are with me, even in the coldest place.
I crumble whenever your arms wrap around me.
You are my deepest desire, something that I have been longing for.
Something that I feel will set me free.

I love the way your muscles ripple
And how tight they feel when you hold me close.
The warmth I get from that alone.
Makes me think of I feel when I'm at home.
I love the way you are, your whole attire
It reminds me of why you are my deepest desire.

When you talk, I try my best to listen.
But I can't get over the way your eyes glisten.
I envy those who are closest to you.
Most times I feel as though I should just tell you the truth.
I choose not to, for I fear of how you would react.
Or maybe even just attack.

I resist the temptation, to show you how I really feel.
Then I check myself again
And think is this really real?
I ask myself, maybe if I was older
Maybe if I was wiser
I might just have the chance
To be with my deepest desire.

It's hard, trying to deal with the feelings I have for you.
I guess I should just be patient
and see later on if  what ever it is that I'm feeling is even true.
Or maybe I should just go for someone else whose more around my youth.
Cause the agonizing pain of waiting and waiting
Makes me think, is patients really a virtue?

Then again the more you appear in my mind.
Makes me saddened at the thought
That you may never be by my side.
I guess I will continue to hide.
The feelings that I keep deep inside.

My heart will forever be on the fence.
And my mind will forever sit on the bench.
Pondering over what I'm feeling for you.
However i may need help, even if it's something as simple as a clue.
Because this is more complicated, than I ever expected.
Mostly caused by my fear of being rejected.

I feel as though if you finally find out what I'm thinking
You may never want to see me again
And my heart will end up sinking.
It's always scary for me
To tell someone about who I am
Or what I want to be.

Yes, it is decided.
I refuse to let you know.
I refuse to reveal my secret.
Or reveal someone that I hardly show.
Maybe one day, you will feel the same way.
So until then, or not at all
This thought will forever hang on a wire
For you will always be my deepest desire.

Copyright © Mimi Machakaire | Year Posted 2014

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