Lin Lane Poet Rhyme

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My Cursed Self-Affliction

I've been stabbing myself for years, 
and causing these forlorn tears.
Wounds that will never heal 
because of the weapon I wield.
Not a blade, but with my eyes, 
from reading the bitter cries
of the angry words he wrote, 
ones he used to cruelly smote.

I curse myself for this self-inflicted pain!  
What is there for me to gain
by remembering the past? 
How long will this self-torture last?
Until I throw away the letters 
that keep me shackled in fetters
or until I tear out my own eyes, 
the orbs I've come to despise.

If only I could be so bold 
and break the evil demon's hold
I'd be free to live my life
without reason for sorrow or strife.
But I suffer from an affliction 
from which I seek no benediction.
From my self-inflicted form of grief, 
I seek no cure and no relief.

Why do I punish myself this way? 
Is it guilt because I didn't stay?
No!  That would be a lie 
I know he's the one who didn't try
to break free of his obsession 
and rid us both of the deep depression.
My wounds will continue bleeding 
for I know I will keep on reading.



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         January 22nd, 2016
        Self-Inflicted Contest
Sponsored by: Anthony Slausen

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John Lawless March 1, 2016 at 10:07 PM Catharsis, a wondrous healing power of poetry. The first poem I ever posted on the soup was entitled "Catharsis". Keep writing Lin......cuz "Ya can't let the demons win!!" Lin Lane March 1, 2016 at 10:25 PM I will surely read your first post, John. Thank you for such a nice comment and rest assured no demon will get the best of me. I've faced a few and I'm still whole.

Daniel Turner March 1, 2016 at 5:08 PM Peaches, congratulations on your placement in the screwed contest. This is a very moving poem and I don't know how I missed it when you wrote it. Peace my friend. I will try to be a little more diligent:) Daniel Turner March 1, 2016 at 5:19 PM My dear there are so many one could spend a lifetime reading and never have time to write. I try to read as many as I can. Yours are at the top of the list and I think you know that. Although green peaches are pretty bitter. LOL I think I joined on Jan 16. Peace my friend:) Lin Lane March 1, 2016 at 5:14 PM It was originally posted over a month ago. Maybe the peach crop wasn't ripe enough yet ~ lol. thank you.

Nette Onclaud January 22, 2016 at 9:50 AM cathartic purging of brokenness... time to move on; so lovely, lin.. huggs Lin Lane January 22, 2016 at 9:55 AM It's a process that was terribly hard for me to begin, Nette, but it's nearing completion. Thanks for the hugs and kind words.

Richard Lamoureux January 22, 2016 at 9:44 AM Have you burned them yet?? Thanks for asking about the job, I start on the second. Currently I'm in Seattle at a Conference for Board Development called Ripple Effect. Lin Lane January 22, 2016 at 9:49 AM Not burned, but I've thrown most of everything from him away. Love Seattle...stay dry.

Richard Lamoureux January 22, 2016 at 9:29 AM Well expressed and for many this is true. I suspect you are not one such as this. Lin Lane January 22, 2016 at 9:35 AM Your suspicions are wrong this time, Rick. I did this very thing for the first two years after I had to leave. Thanks for reading and I hope your new job is going well. ;)

White Sage January 22, 2016 at 8:11 AM deep write Lin, i hope this is fictional though...i know how memories can be so...haunting....and best of luck in the contest Lin Lane January 22, 2016 at 8:22 AM Thanks so much, Sage. It's mostly the sad truth, although I'm weaning myself away.... I need to burn them! lol