My Best Friend, the Lesbian

My very best friend is a lesbian, not bisexual, she is not at all attracted to men. There is nothing butch about her, she is absolutely stunning. When I look at her I often wish that I was a lesbian, but our friendship is built on the foundation, of us always verbally abusing each other more times than none. When we first met, picking her up was my intention, before I discovered she was a lesbian. "Listen pretty boy," she said to me, "I think you're a great guy but not at all for me. I know that you'll find someone one day who will make you very happy, but this is never going to happen sweetie. It's not you, it's me." "Whoa! Hold your horses there Annie Oakley, did you just "It's not you, it's me," to me?! Let me tell you something my little curious honey, I created "It's not you, it's me," so please, don't even try to feed me lies about being a lesbian to me. You wouldn't believe how many times, women feed me that tired old "I'm a lesbian" lie, I average about a dozen of those women every week at the very least, just be honest with me, just answer me truthfully, what did I do wrong, why am I not your kind of guy?" She gave me a pity kiss, and then told me this, "I'm not attracted to you because your genitals are on the outside, I Am Not Attracted To Men! I AM A Lesbian! IT REALLY ISN'T YOU, IT'S I!.. "Well, can I call you," I asked, "and keep giving it a shot?" Anguished, she grabbed me by my collar, her temper raging hot, then smiled and winked at me and said, "Sure, why not." .. and ever since then we have been the best of friends, verbally abusing the hell out of each other over and over again, but whenever a crisis in my life does occur, I honestly don't know what I would do without her. I'll be talking more about my lesbian friend, every so often, now and again.