My Best Friend Is Getting Married

In the distance I can hear church bells chiming a new song. My best friend is about to marry her bad boy, so wrong. Believe me, something I would say today would not matter now. If he turns out okay, I’ll be the first person to say “wow!” But from what I have already seen, he is a big bow-wow-wow. I’d rather see her married to my namesake, a beautiful red cow. He always seems to put her down, making fun of everything. She told me that she’d bought her own engagement ring. His parents were surprised that he and she were engaged. His proposal was a scene from Star Wars, completely staged. It wasn’t that I was angry or felt left out or blue. Now that I think about it, those things might actually be true. I’d better put on my game face and make a fast run back to the wedding. To congratulate the bride and groom, Mr. and Mrs. Royal P. Tedding.