My Anexity
My anxiety is something I live with, each and everyday,
most days I forget I have it because it's become normality,
some days are better than others, then some aren't so great,
then the days where it's really bad where I just want to hide away.
When it actually started, i'm not really sure,
thinking back as far as I can I think it was when I was a child,
I use to have these strange feelings, each day when I came home from school,
as I got closer to home my heart would beating faster too.
There are three kinds of attacks I get, only one can I control,
the other two can sometime take me off to another into world,
to caught up in emotions, as all the feelings build up inside,
understanding my triggers now is going to my my next fight.
The first one isn't to bad fleeting thoughts here and there,
feel a little bit anxious but I tell myself there nothing to fear.
being a little anxious sometimes I'm quick to snap,
but I know when I'm in this stage because I can put my self in check.
The second one I can cope sometimes like the one I having now,
been going anxiously up and down for almost six hours.
I don't like people annoying me, because I get over anxious real fast,
A lot of the time I sit in silence just trying to ride it out.
The last one I really hate, this is when I lose the plot,
disillusioned by paranoia and fears, this one I cant stop.
when I hit that state my life becomes a misery,
I try my best to describe exactly how it feels to me:
Someones got my lungs trying to strangle me to death,
feels like I'm having a heart attack, gasping for breath,
room is starting to spin as the wall's start closing in,
feeling claustrophobic and itchy with in my own skin.
Trying to shake it off only heightens it, by 10,
then I could be off on another planet, speaking Latin,
nothing makes sense, drifting in and out of reality,
this is how my anxiety can sometimes effect me.
M.Mahauariki © 2012
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