Murdering Your Wife

If you’re planning to murder your wife,
Using poison, a gun or a knife,
You must plan things with care
Or, if not, then prepare
To face jail for the rest of your life.

For a husband, who’s now in the news,
Killed his spouse but left multiple clues - 
Cleaning agents in bags,
Plus a hacksaw and rags
All with blood found by DNA crews.

But the evidence that did astound 
Was a Google search officers found 
Listing ways to dispose 
So it won’t decompose 
Of a body with neighbors around.

So to anyone planning a crime,
It’s worth taking a little more time 
To conceal what you’ve done
Or you’ll next be the one
Whose stupidity ends up in rhyme.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

Poem

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Rose Avatar
March 15, 2023 at 12:38 PM
Hahahahahaha. Thank you for the “advice”….. although I hope you don’t write about how to off a husband ….my wife may read it and gain a few ideas ! Darrell
Rigoler Avatar
January 27, 2023 at 8:20 AM
I know of this story and the grin he portrayed! If you know the Torah, the penalty for murder was life for life, and it didn't mater if the victim was a wife! Gruesome set of limericks but well written. / Maurice
Rigoler Avatar
January 27, 2023 at 8:19 AM
I know of this story and the grin he portrayed! If you know the Torah, the penalty for murder was life for life, and it didn't mater if the victim was a wife! Gruesome set of limericks but well written. / Maurice
Flood Avatar
January 23, 2023 at 11:40 AM
Brilliantly funny, Ilene. I’m guessing this is based on real events and as such I can only presume the wife refused to eat the mushrooms. Terry
Wolf Avatar
January 22, 2023 at 8:04 PM
This is great, Ilene!! Should be/should have been POTD!! Hilarious. Thanks, gw
Callus Avatar
January 22, 2023 at 1:21 AM
Excellent, Ilene. You don't write too many poems in this form, but when you do they are a pleasure to read. Thank you for the advice, lol :) ~ Have a lovely day, my friend. // paul
Amadore Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 10:32 AM
I enjoyed reading your limerick(s) Ilene. And they so appropriately comment upon and spotlight that horrendous crime.
Andresen Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 2:18 AM
- Not easy to think clear and sensible thoughts when planning to kill your own wife... (I want to believe; the husband suffers from sadistic personality disorder) - hugs
Bauer Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 9:08 AM
whatever he suffers from, let's hope he gets the punishment he deserves, anne-lise!
Rodrigues Avatar
January 20, 2023 at 8:32 PM
Glad the culprit was caught. Always sad it is a spouse. Chilling…
Bauer Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 9:07 AM
i agree, kim, but he made it pretty easy for the police. hope he gets life in prison...
Volumes Avatar
January 20, 2023 at 1:37 PM
A great poem to the end, and get to the last line and your humor is sublime. Love this. Great read and really funny.
Bauer Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 9:07 AM
thanks, wendy! i really appreciate the support from you...
Bueckert Avatar
January 20, 2023 at 1:28 PM
Thankful for stupid criminals, great poem but I hope those ones never wise up! Love these limericks
Bauer Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 9:06 AM
thank you for reading and reaching out, hat! much appreciated...
Slaughter Avatar
January 20, 2023 at 12:07 PM
Ilene, I don't know if this will constitute "aiding and abetting", but I think this is one of your all-time best. And if it refers to the story I've seen on the news, what really got me was the s***eating grin the guy had on his face as the arresting officers were leading him away with hands cuffed behind his back.
Bauer Avatar
January 21, 2023 at 9:05 AM
thank you, jim! i had a lot of fun writing it. i know it's a sad story, but really, how clueless can someone be?
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