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Mother Tried Looking For Daughter

Mother tried looking for daughter Deep on a crescent moon child ran hog wild cries of sad tears piled at being defiled She was a young buck when life ran amok, where mama tried to pluck her back from schmuck. Gun in hand mama, combed the pimps home land for demand the return of daughter's hand. connie pachecho 1/6/17 non contest entry

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Connie Pachecho

Date: 1/7/2017 10:48:00 PM

1. child, wild 2. piled, defiled 3. buck, amok 4. hand, land 5. demand, hand 1. wild, defiled 2. amok, schmuck 3. land, hand. Line 5 I don't like. Just wing that one. I do welcome critiques, yours is the first one I received here. One can be richer for all the help they can receive. Were you here two weeks ago? One of my poems got ignored to which I never learned why. Things snowballed after that.

Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Date: 1/7/2017 1:33:00 PM

I like the theme of this poem. I think the form is rhyme since there are rhymes in it and they do not ALL rhyme with one another. Of course, this is not for a contest so it doesn't matter. I thought you might want to correct the form tor this cute rhyming poem. (I'm just trying to be helpful... NOT critical.)