More Zany Warnings

More Zany Warnings By Elton Camp On the metal barrel of a rifle, not to be debated: “Misuse may cause injury or death,” tis stated On wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack we see: “Remove plastic before eating.” My, oh me! Warning found on a remote control for a TV: “Not dishwasher safe” are the words we see “Safe for use around pets” is assurance told On box of cat litter that we have been sold Fritos bag says, “No purchase necessary to win” And then it explains that the details are within “Cleans and refreshes without water or soap,” Contains water and soap says the same dope Instructions on muffin package can’t be beat: “Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert and eat” Then this taken from a Swann frozen dinner: “Serving suggestion: Defrost” is sure a winner On a Domino’s sandwich box this we are bid: “For heat-retaining to function, close the lid”