Mine Shaved Spindle Shanks Indistinguishable From Plucked Chicken

I suddenly became aware (although rooted motive not clear) avoiding self castration ere yours truly back during forty three plus summers ago (do the math and figure out what year) long haired pencil necked geek applied dull razor to remove, (albeit temporarily) hair covering these skinny legs. The missus asked me (hitherto known as her bozo) just mere moments ago to craft humorous poem to glow nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph keeping syncopated metrical flow thus methought to crow about being equally as foolish streaking naked outside at five below so without further here I go rattling off gibberish as common Joe King cole, a merry old soul... dirt poor, hence without any dough to embellish endeavor as literary pro, who also sought to catch eye of Mister Perdue (yea him of agribusiness fame) to sacrifice self for New Year's barbecue. Yours truly repurposed courtesy rigged easy to assemble cannibalistic spit with large fig leaf covering puny naughty bit meekly (née willingly) surrendered matter of fact, I paid with bitcoin chit recognized latest currency ever since legal tender easily susceptible and oftimes confused as counterfeit money forged, smelted, and hammered linkedin with pendulum that swung within pit. Thus analogous to Five Chinese brothers immune yours  truly constituted more'n one secret boon such fiery flames (hot enough to melt like molten rock) could harm not a hair of one *****sapien baboon matter fact simian in question could become swell think hot air balloon allowing, enabling and providing me quick escape national anthem playing as most popular tune, a capella, I simultaneous croon as hot embers snap, pop, and crackle token human crisply cooking taking place at high noon despite the most ferocious typhoon, no worry, I defy being drowned survival skills inherited sophisticated protozoan symbiotic eukaryotes since time immemorial livingsocial within tight quarters with not mushroom to maneuver - oh... hold on, cuz I will be done lame reasonable rhyme really soon ah... just about done getting cooked the color maroon.