Michele
I'd kept my heart encased in a steel box for so long I can't even remember when I shut the lid and locked it tight for good.
But then you came along
You jiggled the lock, picked at it, applied some WD, tried again till eventually it clicked. The creaky old tumblers turned and the lock sprung open.
You grabbed the handles and tried the lid; but the rusty hinges wouldn't budge. Not one to be deterred, you persisted, and light creeped it. It hurt. I slammed it shut again.
Over and over this process went and each time you were able to open it a bit further let more light in before I pulled it tight again.
The emotions felt so unfamiliar, so strange I didn't know how to process them. They stabbed at my heart. They caught in my throat. I couldn’t catch my breath.
If this is what it's like to feel I want my steel box back. Close the lid, throw away the key.
But you wouldn't let me. You kept persisting. You propped open that lid and took my hand. forced me to feel.
It still hurts, but it hurts for everyone. Life hurts. You can't have the Joy without opening up yourself to the sorrow.
It feels good to feel. The good and the mad, happiness, the pain of loss, we feel them all together. We hold each other, console one another, laugh and cry together and that make it bearable.
You did that. You lifted the lid and let the light in. I am grateful for the light, for seeing and feeling life in all it's iterations. Thank you for persisting, for forcing the lock and taking my hand.
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