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Message For the Undertaker

Yo bro. . . got what you said, look in to put us poets to rest, I've got news for you home boy, This turf ain't big enough for the two of us! Get down and get your feet wet. ain't no gods gonna help us and that's a fact, Play time is over Mr. Gravedigger, Bring it on and lets show the world a good fight! Cool. .its show time, for the guy with the Mic, What's the hurry Mr. Rhyme, scared you might miss your flight. Heard you came back snooping around, with all the loud sounds and talk, Told you once boy to be pretty nice, Or you'll get a wrestling lesson you won't soon forget. I've got your name on my list and draw, pretty soon this town is gonna be a bloody war, pack up your bags and leave by the back door, Im not gonna tell you twice just spare me the trouble. this is dedicated to by jalani jenkins for his Gravedigger poem that got me inspired. . . so thank you my friend

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 8/29/2013 9:35:00 AM
Your bring a modern "homeboy", "ghetto" type flair to this piece, and it's quite interesting. I'm unaccustomed to it, which isn't a bad thing. My only issue is with the third stanza; it doesn't seem to belong and feels a bit forced. Personally I would omit it, but in the end, it's really subjective; some readers may love it. This is a cool piece and an interesting poem; well done for bringing a modern edge to it.
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Morgan Avatar
Danesh Morgan
Date: 8/29/2013 4:50:00 PM
You are a very good observer! indeed i ponder over that 3rd stanza coz this same in a flow yes i would delete it as it somehow like a stop sign in the middle of a race thank for pointing it out
That Archaic Poet Avatar
Just That Archaic Poet
Date: 8/29/2013 9:36:00 AM
should say * you bring
Date: 8/16/2013 7:13:00 PM
Danesh, You are an amazing writer... I love how you got inspired by Jalani J.... I love it :)...Linda
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Danesh Morgan
Date: 8/17/2013 12:46:00 AM
Linda, thanks, hope to really make an impact in the future. .
Date: 8/14/2013 2:58:00 PM
I think they had rap listed as a form? Thank you for stopping by and reading my verse. Light & Love
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Danesh Morgan
Date: 8/17/2013 12:42:00 AM
thanks, maybe i should change it later
Date: 8/14/2013 1:44:00 AM
- Very well written, "so thank you my friend" , Danesh ! - Have a nice day! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
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Danesh Morgan
Date: 8/14/2013 2:14:00 AM
Anne. thank you for : being nice and saying yr sweet kind words

Book: Reflection on the Important Things