Merry Christmas To My Broken Heart

eating quietly watching the mud after the rain wondering why she ended it wanting to call her knowing she will not answer wanting to email her knowing that she will not respond wanting to text her knowing that she will block me, if not already putting on a jimmy ruffin 45 that song's chorus defines the current state of my emotions then the questions come then more questions come i will probably be up all night staring at the ceiling as even more questions come sneaking in from the side is old man regret mercilessly aging me slowly i guess i got what i deserved, but when momma has cancer, all personal life happenings freeze like icicle frames merry christmas to my broken heart