Mental Suicide

So I yelled. 

I yelled and I screamed and I cussed

I snapped like a twig

Broke like a record

Exploded like dynamite

I failed at the one thing that I thought I was a pro at

Staying calm

I failed everyone around me

Why did I do it?

Why  did I do it?

I can't answer that question

I don't know if I hate myself, or if I hate that I can't control myself

Maybe both?

The anger I felt; felt so strange

It was worse than any normal pain

I’d understand if you all said I was insane

I can't tell if these are tears or if it's just the rain

Am I stupid, or do I just lack a brain

Because every time I see her hurt all the emotions hit me at least a thousand times harder than a train



I'm sorry I did it, I don't know why

My goal was never to make anyone cry

Maybe the world would be better if I were to die

I don't mean that but maybe I could try

I won't actually do it, my biggest fear is saying goodbye

But if I were to say I haven't thought about it, that would be a lie

Because truthfully my life might die if I try to lie, I've seen all the signs

I try to break through this vault, but I can't no matter how much I pry and pry and pry, and I keep prying and it doesn't budge, until that day

For once in my life I don't know the right thing to say

I know actions have consequences, and I deserve to pay

My life is a game, that no one else would ever want to play

I truly am sorry, I didn't mean to betray

I'm a reject, I deserve to be sent away

But I ask one big favor, please let me stay
Copyright © | Year Posted 2025

Poem

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