Mental Suicide
So I yelled.
I yelled and I screamed and I cussed
I snapped like a twig
Broke like a record
Exploded like dynamite
I failed at the one thing that I thought I was a pro at
Staying calm
I failed everyone around me
Why did I do it?
Why did I do it?
I can't answer that question
I don't know if I hate myself, or if I hate that I can't control myself
Maybe both?
The anger I felt; felt so strange
It was worse than any normal pain
I’d understand if you all said I was insane
I can't tell if these are tears or if it's just the rain
Am I stupid, or do I just lack a brain
Because every time I see her hurt all the emotions hit me at least a thousand times harder than a train
I'm sorry I did it, I don't know why
My goal was never to make anyone cry
Maybe the world would be better if I were to die
I don't mean that but maybe I could try
I won't actually do it, my biggest fear is saying goodbye
But if I were to say I haven't thought about it, that would be a lie
Because truthfully my life might die if I try to lie, I've seen all the signs
I try to break through this vault, but I can't no matter how much I pry and pry and pry, and I keep prying and it doesn't budge, until that day
For once in my life I don't know the right thing to say
I know actions have consequences, and I deserve to pay
My life is a game, that no one else would ever want to play
I truly am sorry, I didn't mean to betray
I'm a reject, I deserve to be sent away
But I ask one big favor, please let me stay
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