Maybe
I liked you even before you got a girlfriend,
And somehow that's so much worse.
Because it's not just that you didn't want anybody
No, it's that I chose you and you chose her.
You wanted a relationship; you wanted a girl, just not me.
But I'll continue to like you even if you never break up,
Because that's how my heart works.
Stuck on the person I'm not allowed to love.
As much as I love you, we can never be.
I will lie, deflect, and pretend even if it suffocates me daily.
Because she will always be better for you compared to me,
I tell myself before I fall asleep or my brain will dream about the we that we could be.
I won’t say I hate you, I can’t.
I can’t say I love you, I won’t.
What I will say is,
If you only knew,
If you only knew how much pain, you’ve put me through.
If you knew how many times I’ve cried thinking of you.
Wanting and wanting to make our love story come true.
Knowing I will never be allowed to love and be loved by you.
Crying for hours, sick and tired.
Her, her, her, it echos inside my head.
I cry because the words “I love you” will never transpire.
“I don’t love him” I tell. No, I lie to myself while in bed.
I know I deserve more than the scraps I get right now,
But I can’t imagine my life without you,
And that desperate part inside of wonders, maybe we could work it out?
Because you know my moods, my hobbies and the real me, the one only a few do.
Maybe,
Oh, maybe,
One day.
Just maybe.
We could love.
Maybe,
Oh, maybe.
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