Marred Connections
Freeloading
Taking what was given by someone else for something else
A gift with a tinge of obligation
Tacit codes
From the animal that is me
To the ungrateful optimizer
A love of expectation
Is it a kiss if it's unwilling
branded by tears
A hand outstretched that stretches less and less
Adjusting from a partner to an attribute
And back
Can I love as a shell
How to fill if not to receive
From self or others the mechanisms of the Other
I am only part of me
A shell can be built or blasted
But tis one part of the many
I cannot see what I must
But that doesnt stop many
A partner without action is not a partner, just an externality
To use is violent but it can meet needs
The pain of the prisoner's dilemma from the good friend
Petrifying comes with tears
And prayers of awakening
Such is the joy of coming back home
a field a landscape a state an air an aura a friend
The pain of pulling your hand away and the joy of accepting it back
Knowing something has changed and acknowledging it
The bravery of seeing it as marred by good memories
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