Marred Connections

Freeloading Taking what was given by someone else for something else A gift with a tinge of obligation Tacit codes From the animal that is me To the ungrateful optimizer A love of expectation Is it a kiss if it's unwilling branded by tears A hand outstretched that stretches less and less Adjusting from a partner to an attribute And back Can I love as a shell How to fill if not to receive From self or others the mechanisms of the Other I am only part of me A shell can be built or blasted But tis one part of the many I cannot see what I must But that doesnt stop many A partner without action is not a partner, just an externality To use is violent but it can meet needs The pain of the prisoner's dilemma from the good friend Petrifying comes with tears And prayers of awakening Such is the joy of coming back home a field a landscape a state an air an aura a friend The pain of pulling your hand away and the joy of accepting it back Knowing something has changed and acknowledging it The bravery of seeing it as marred by good memories