March, My Weakest Point
I miss you
there, I said the truth I compel myself to hide
I miss you
there, I said it loud enough for you to hear
Can you feel it then, my breath reaching your ears
or have you brushed it off as only a breeze
March...I've been made mute, shed not a tear
but I'm forced once again
to share my heart with you though I know you won't dare
dare believe me when I say the day passed again
A question I beg of you absent answer
why is this the only time I happily regret, I'm regrettingly
regrettingly happy I know you
I know what you may think
this isn't something I've conjured up, a Sorcerer
to make myself believe you're a damsel in distress, single
and I the misfit to the rescue
to cover up the fact I'm alone but I'm alone without you again
alone without you again
How long must I suffer this
the fact and the fate that the moment I loved you most
you disappear, shatter
transforming into sharpened tools of torture
sticking into me while I perpetually scream
a whirlwind of emotions
I LOVE YOU! I HATE YOU!
BE GONE FROM ME! COME BACK TO ME!
And yet here we are again, the 7th year
you've found someone to spend the rest of your life with
someone else in your vicinity
someone else who's talons have dug deeper
than mine have ever gone
I've come to terms with that
accepted it, lived with it, dealt with it
still at my strongest, at my weakest points
love spills forth from my lips followed by miss
'cause I'm hoping I still had one more chance to prove
What on earth can I prove now
what can I prove differently, say what I haven't reiterated
do what I couldn't do years ago
All that comes to mind is
race to her door, fall upon her floor
declare my love for the first of many
She was my first love at 12, I'm 19
I just want to fly away to an island of rain
to escape the pain
She lives heavily in my heart, happily where I found her
as I wear a mask to mimic her cheery exterior
while on the inside I'm miserable as I've ever been
March...
Copyright © Andrus Cassian | Year Posted 2016
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