Home » Poems » Jen Ebersohn » Love Takes Its Hard Toll

Love Takes Its Hard Toll

love takes its hard toll in neon streets at day's dim end — beggar asks for change

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Jenna Logan

Date: 10/5/2021 3:33:00 AM

Jen, your message is a good one. A llittle info...This is a Senryu because it is about people. Haiku are only descriptive of things in nature. None of the first words in either form should be capitalized unless it is "I" or a proper name. Your second line has 8 syllables, but should be 7. I hope this helps, and I look forward to see more of these from you.

Jen Ebersohn
Date: 10/5/2021 6:14:00 PM

Hi Jenna, thanks for your feedback, really appreciate the tips about senryu (didn't know and working in the dark) and also the concept of flow and capitalization. I used the syllable counter called https://www.haikusyllablecounter.com/ and it counted 5-7-5 so all good.