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Love On Weak Knees

This is originally a song. I wrote it early last year-- thank you, Justin Bordner, for the fantastic title! Why are you crying? You put this on yourself Why are you sighing? You knew the outcome well You expressed your feelings And everything went wrong You tore up the meaning That love will keep you strong You try but you never succeed And you soon find out this was all for me As you try to believe in yourself all you wanna do is hate yourself And you cry and you fall and you slam your head against the wall And you know that he'll never really see Because he never really wanted to see At all Dance on his heart now And make sure that he sees Smile and take a bow When you feel you're on your knees Watch as your thoughts yearn As he walks straight out the door You've made a right turn But it doesn't matter anymore You try but you never succeed And you soon find out this was all for me As you try to believe in yourself all you wanna do is hate yourself And you cry and you fall and you slam your head against the wall Cause you know that he'll never really see Because he never really wanted to see At all And I try and I try and I try and I try and I try And I try and I try and I try and I try and I try

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Funom Makama

Date: 2/6/2015 7:52:00 AM

Your lines are so alive and real. Munching them in my mind is the blessing I am receiving this moment. This is such an excellent share and I really do not know what more to say. A 7 definitely

Jack Ellison

Date: 2/4/2015 4:46:00 PM

Tell me, why haven't I visited more often? So expressive my dear sweet Laura! Great title.. great poem/song! You have become one of my favourite poetry friends! Love, Jack xoxoxox

Honestly J.T.

Date: 2/4/2015 1:00:00 PM

Whether a song or poem, it's pretty good -JT

Eileen Manassian

Date: 2/2/2015 5:49:00 AM

Hello, dear Laura. This is such a fantastic piece. The taste of victory is ever sweet...You've really expressed yourself so well....I'm so impressed by your writing. Lovely title! ;) Thanks for all your visits to my work of late, especially to The Gate of Dreamland. It is one of my absolute favorite pieces. Hugs

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 2/3/2015 1:07:00 AM

Hey there (: Thanks to Justin, the title is indeed lovely. I will definitely be reading more of your work very soon. You surely write from the heart and soul. I am empowered by your poetry. It is very special! Thank you for being such a sweet encouragement. It truly means the world to me. ~Laura

Cherl Dunn

Date: 1/31/2015 7:00:00 PM

Dear Laura, Wow their is a deep power in your words of deeply felt verse, the flow of your emotions is so smooth and fluid like liquid poetry, it's almost sweet music to this poetic ear. What a wonderment I give it a seven with glad tidings rapture, your sweet tunes of poetic music still lingers in my minds eye, totally awesome my fellow souper, and thanks again for your flattering words on my poem also, take care this evening, and sorry it took so long to write back, cheri

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/31/2015 11:08:00 PM

Hey there, and thanks so much for reading. I will definitely read more of your exquisite poetry. Your poems are mesmerizing, with lovely, dreamy imagery. ~Laura

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty

Date: 1/31/2015 10:46:00 AM

Awesome lyrical merits with a beeper effect at the end And I try.....Lovely Laura. God bless.

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/31/2015 11:07:00 PM

Rajat, thanks for noticing the bleeding cries in the end... it's a big part of the song... ~Laura

Davina Browne

Date: 1/31/2015 6:42:00 AM

I love the song hun have you tried to put music to it, I feel its good enough to sell to the highest bidder hehe bless it be and keep them coming D x 7 rating my friend

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/31/2015 11:06:00 PM

Hey Davina, it's nice to hear from you again. I started writing this song while on the piano, playing around with some chords. I was in a wretched mood at the time, glad it's over, glad it happened, an I'm really glad you enjoyed.... <3 <3 ~Laura

Kp Nunez

Date: 1/31/2015 3:00:00 AM

What an amazing lyric, incredibly lonely and sad but there's a hint of self-renewal inching its way within the middle...a 7 and a fav! Kim;)

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/31/2015 11:04:00 PM

Kim! You're making me beam! Thank you for reading! ~Laura

Justin Bordner

Date: 1/31/2015 2:59:00 AM

Wow Laura...WOW! Vixen victorious! Love has kept you strong...and beautiful. There is a vengeful attitude in the second verse, which is not your penchant, but when a woman believes she deserves love, she finds the huntress within. There is a confindence in this song that says... I dare you to compete...J.A.B.

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/31/2015 11:03:00 PM

Thanks dear...I'm so happy right now.. (: ~Laura

Poet Destroyer A

Date: 1/31/2015 2:36:00 AM

This is very good Laura. The ending sticks like a matter that follows me through out the day... LINDA

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/31/2015 11:01:00 PM

Hey Linda, and thank you very much... (: I am so surprised how this lyric is being received! ~Laura

Gary Bateman

Date: 1/30/2015 6:16:00 PM

Hello Laura, Gary here. A most touching Lyric write here. These Lyric writes are always most interesting when I read them since I always try to imagine what they might sound like and the deeper message they evoke when they are actually put to music. I like the emphatic repetition of the ending couplet. "I try and I try and I try . . . (but) you never really wanted to see. A "7" and a FAV from me Laura!! Best Always, Gary

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/30/2015 7:44:00 PM

Wow Gary! I'm surprised you received it so well! I am very happy I decided to post it. Thank you so much for the visit! ~Laura

Don Johnson

Date: 1/30/2015 5:26:00 AM

Sometimes we draw, the card from the deck, a pain in de rissole, painful as heck, fate fakes the magic, And fatal we swoon, prearranged so tragic, ironic the tune, till we do our time in the sack, no escape no going back, till we escape from the light of the moon? a sanity attack, and over all too soon, alas and bloody alack... don

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/30/2015 7:43:00 PM

I love your comments Don. You're so awesome, in every way! ~Laura

Justin Bordner

Date: 1/30/2015 3:54:00 AM

Love On Weak Knees is a title that this contentious song invokes in me Laura. "You tore up the meaning that love would keep you strong..." how we punish ourselves by misusing love...by misunderstanding the sacrafice Laura...J.A.B.

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/30/2015 7:42:00 PM

Hey, Justin. A lovely title you came up with. This song kind of makes me sad...I wasn't sure if I was going to post it. I feel an inconsistency in the song - the beginning is okay, but the second verse bugs me for some reason. Anyhow, I've been playing around with the song and seeing what fits and what sentiments belong. Thanks for the comment! ~Laura

Liam Mcdaid

Date: 1/30/2015 3:05:00 AM

touching deeply a poem i relate to in life excellent pen laura bless you dear friend powerful piece must say

Laura Breidenthal
Date: 1/30/2015 7:39:00 PM

Thanks dear. I was wavering whether to post this one because it sounded rather whiney to me hahah. Im glad it seems to be recieved well. It's actually quite a powerful song and it brings tears to my eyes when I sing it. Thank you for the visit, Liam.~Laura