Laura Breidenthal Poet Lyric

Love On Weak Knees

This is originally a song. I wrote it early last year-- thank you, Justin Bordner, for the fantastic title!

Why are you crying?
You put this on yourself
Why are you sighing?
You knew the outcome well
You expressed your feelings
And everything went wrong
You tore up the meaning
That love will keep you strong

You try but you never succeed
And you soon find out this was all for me
As you try to believe in yourself all you wanna do is hate yourself
And you cry and you fall and you slam your head against the wall
And you know that he'll never really see
Because he never really wanted to see
At all

Dance on his heart now
And make sure that he sees
Smile and take a bow
When you feel you're on your knees
Watch as your thoughts yearn
As he walks straight out the door
You've made a right turn
But it doesn't matter anymore

You try but you never succeed 
And you soon find out this was all for me 
As you try to believe in yourself all you wanna do is hate yourself 
And you cry and you fall and you slam your head against the wall 
Cause you know that he'll never really see 
Because he never really wanted to see 
At all

And I try and I try and I try and I try and I try
And I try and I try and I try and I try and I try

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Funom Makama February 6, 2015 at 7:52 AM Your lines are so alive and real. Munching them in my mind is the blessing I am receiving this moment. This is such an excellent share and I really do not know what more to say. A 7 definitely

Jack Ellison February 4, 2015 at 4:46 PM Tell me, why haven't I visited more often? So expressive my dear sweet Laura! Great title.. great poem/song! You have become one of my favourite poetry friends! Love, Jack xoxoxox

Honestly J.T. February 4, 2015 at 1:00 PM Whether a song or poem, it's pretty good -JT

Eileen Manassian February 2, 2015 at 5:49 AM Hello, dear Laura. This is such a fantastic piece. The taste of victory is ever sweet...You've really expressed yourself so well....I'm so impressed by your writing. Lovely title! ;) Thanks for all your visits to my work of late, especially to The Gate of Dreamland. It is one of my absolute favorite pieces. Hugs Laura Breidenthal February 3, 2015 at 1:07 AM Hey there (: Thanks to Justin, the title is indeed lovely. I will definitely be reading more of your work very soon. You surely write from the heart and soul. I am empowered by your poetry. It is very special! Thank you for being such a sweet encouragement. It truly means the world to me. ~Laura

Cherl Dunn January 31, 2015 at 7:00 PM Dear Laura, Wow their is a deep power in your words of deeply felt verse, the flow of your emotions is so smooth and fluid like liquid poetry, it's almost sweet music to this poetic ear. What a wonderment I give it a seven with glad tidings rapture, your sweet tunes of poetic music still lingers in my minds eye, totally awesome my fellow souper, and thanks again for your flattering words on my poem also, take care this evening, and sorry it took so long to write back, cheri Laura Breidenthal January 31, 2015 at 11:08 PM Hey there, and thanks so much for reading. I will definitely read more of your exquisite poetry. Your poems are mesmerizing, with lovely, dreamy imagery. ~Laura

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty January 31, 2015 at 10:46 AM Awesome lyrical merits with a beeper effect at the end And I try.....Lovely Laura. God bless. Laura Breidenthal January 31, 2015 at 11:07 PM Rajat, thanks for noticing the bleeding cries in the end... it's a big part of the song... ~Laura

Davina Browne January 31, 2015 at 6:42 AM I love the song hun have you tried to put music to it, I feel its good enough to sell to the highest bidder hehe bless it be and keep them coming D x 7 rating my friend Laura Breidenthal January 31, 2015 at 11:06 PM Hey Davina, it's nice to hear from you again. I started writing this song while on the piano, playing around with some chords. I was in a wretched mood at the time, glad it's over, glad it happened, an I'm really glad you enjoyed.... <3 <3 ~Laura

Kp Nunez January 31, 2015 at 3:00 AM What an amazing lyric, incredibly lonely and sad but there's a hint of self-renewal inching its way within the middle...a 7 and a fav! Kim;) Laura Breidenthal January 31, 2015 at 11:04 PM Kim! You're making me beam! Thank you for reading! ~Laura

Justin Bordner January 31, 2015 at 2:59 AM Wow Laura...WOW! Vixen victorious! Love has kept you strong...and beautiful. There is a vengeful attitude in the second verse, which is not your penchant, but when a woman believes she deserves love, she finds the huntress within. There is a confindence in this song that says... I dare you to compete...J.A.B. Laura Breidenthal January 31, 2015 at 11:03 PM Thanks dear...I'm so happy right now.. (: ~Laura

Poet Destroyer A January 31, 2015 at 2:36 AM This is very good Laura. The ending sticks like a matter that follows me through out the day... LINDA Laura Breidenthal January 31, 2015 at 11:01 PM Hey Linda, and thank you very much... (: I am so surprised how this lyric is being received! ~Laura

Gary Bateman January 30, 2015 at 6:16 PM Hello Laura, Gary here. A most touching Lyric write here. These Lyric writes are always most interesting when I read them since I always try to imagine what they might sound like and the deeper message they evoke when they are actually put to music. I like the emphatic repetition of the ending couplet. "I try and I try and I try . . . (but) you never really wanted to see. A "7" and a FAV from me Laura!! Best Always, Gary Laura Breidenthal January 30, 2015 at 7:44 PM Wow Gary! I'm surprised you received it so well! I am very happy I decided to post it. Thank you so much for the visit! ~Laura

Don Johnson January 30, 2015 at 5:26 AM Sometimes we draw, the card from the deck, a pain in de rissole, painful as heck, fate fakes the magic, And fatal we swoon, prearranged so tragic, ironic the tune, till we do our time in the sack, no escape no going back, till we escape from the light of the moon? a sanity attack, and over all too soon, alas and bloody alack... don Laura Breidenthal January 30, 2015 at 7:43 PM I love your comments Don. You're so awesome, in every way! ~Laura

Justin Bordner January 30, 2015 at 3:54 AM Love On Weak Knees is a title that this contentious song invokes in me Laura. "You tore up the meaning that love would keep you strong..." how we punish ourselves by misusing love...by misunderstanding the sacrafice Laura...J.A.B. Laura Breidenthal January 30, 2015 at 7:42 PM Hey, Justin. A lovely title you came up with. This song kind of makes me sad...I wasn't sure if I was going to post it. I feel an inconsistency in the song - the beginning is okay, but the second verse bugs me for some reason. Anyhow, I've been playing around with the song and seeing what fits and what sentiments belong. Thanks for the comment! ~Laura

Liam Mcdaid January 30, 2015 at 3:05 AM touching deeply a poem i relate to in life excellent pen laura bless you dear friend powerful piece must say Laura Breidenthal January 30, 2015 at 7:39 PM Thanks dear. I was wavering whether to post this one because it sounded rather whiney to me hahah. Im glad it seems to be recieved well. It's actually quite a powerful song and it brings tears to my eyes when I sing it. Thank you for the visit, Liam.~Laura