Lost, Without Hope
Everywhere I look, all I see is nothing
A vast space full of water, the current pulling me out to nowhere
Kicking and screaming I’m trying to stay above the wild waves
But the crash and smash against me, the water filling my lungs
I cannot breathe and I cannot float much longer
I want so desperately to have something to cling to
But yet I am alone in this fight, to keep my mind above
To keep myself from sinking to the depths of depression
A dark, endless pit that I will not be able to escape
The burning anger above me
And sweltering sadness beneath me
Challenge me in my everyday
To try and hold on to the thin lines of reality
The lines that are blurring before my very eyes
I do not know how much longer I can keep
I want it all to end…but I do not want to end it all
I am so tired…so very tired
But sleep dances away from me,
Like a young child on a play ground, sleep runs and hides
The giggles of him I can hear, here and there
But I cannot reach him
He his beyond my capacities, beyond my boundaries
And I’m losing this fight to stay above the water
I feel like I’m drowning
‘ISN’T ANYONE THERE’ I cry
And I weep, but honestly I really don’t know why
Why I feel so trapped in this grey world
With no escape and no reverence
I am lost in the wild furls of my psychotic mind
Where no one can find me, no one can help me…save me
Alone and drowning I try to grasp onto the thin wisp of hope
But it is false and was gone before it ever appeared
I am lost, with nothing but the water and fire
The darkness, and terror
I have nothing to hold onto
Yet I keep fighting, I keep fighting this losing battle
But I do not know how much longer I will last
Copyright © Rebecca Larkin | Year Posted 2012
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