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Lost Touch

So much running through my head
Things I should be doing instead
Put them on the side
I can't decide
What do I want to do
So many things, that's true
Don't even feel blue
Do I care
Is that question even fair
What do I want?
That question seems to haunt
Taunt
I want nought 
But so much
A loving touch 
Give myself a chance 
Give life a second glance 
Don't understand why
I feel won't even try
To raise above
Don't want love
I want nothing 
Heart won't sing 
I sit here as dead
So much running through my head
The ringing 
Stinging 
Headache bringing 
Thoughts on nothing much
Maybe I'm out of touch
Maybe I truly don't care
To be fair
Everything I ever was before
Was tore
From me
Is what I see
Everything I am to be
Walked out the door
Of life I wanted no more
Can't find my way back
Thoughts on the attack 
Lost in thought
Life no longer sought
So long I fought
To be
To see
What is free
An illusion 
Confusion 
Delusion 
But hate
Not my fate
After a fashion 
Hate takes passion 
Years
Through tears
Hated life
Created my own strife
So much Lost
My soul the cost
Could take no more
Couldn't find an exit door
Would never soar
Hate
Still not my fate.
Too late
Found the nothing inside
Was getting harder to hide
With no one to confide
Got stuck
Ran out of luck
Happiness denied 
From life we hide
Can't find the road
Lost in my load
All exits lead to the same way
No words to say
Left behind 
Lost in my mind
Can't get out
No matter how loud I shout
Where lies the flaw
Unseen or unsaw
Life flutters by
Unheard one will cry
Life is the flaw
What I saw
The universe floating in my mind
My body left behind
My soul floats free
The things I see
Lost to the flowing tide
Life's crazy ride
Madness 
Is sadness
Happiness the great lie
Wish to fly
Before I die
Wish to be
To see
Wish to be free
Will never be

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