Lost In Mind

I can't stand the way I feel, I just want to break away; My head drowns in pools of sorrow, throughout the hours of the day. I think about the mistakes I've made, and how they can't be fixed; I think about the pain I've caused, and how it makes me sick. When I look into the mirror, I don't recognize the reflection; All I see is the lies, the hurt, and the deception. I see my face, but my color seems to be withdrawn; I see my body, but my soul seems too far gone. The only piece of sanity, remains deep within my eyes; And as I peek around each sparkle, I have to question why. So many questions, with no one to ask for the answers; Nothing to cling onto, no pills to consider enhancers. I'm alone as I wonder, through the labyrinths of my mind; Creeping through my memories, looking for something I can't find. I see flickers of happiness, and sprinkles of contentment; I see the girl I use to be, not holding this resentment. Then I fast forward to the memories I regret; Those seem to be the ones that are impossible to forget. My heart falls from my chest to the ground; As the tar soaks up the pieces, my ears are crushed from the sound. The sound of 12 years being rejected then denied; The sound of combustion taking it's place deep inside. I begin to remember not having to hide from or causing any pain; Not having these behaviors, from which I have to refrain. I try reaching deep down, struggling to catch onto the past; I grasp onto the horrors, but the good times fade fast. I think I'm finally ready to leave this wretched state behind; I sit here closing my eyes, just wishing to rewind. I'll walk along the scars of my memories everyday; Getting stuck within my wishes, just hoping to break away.