Lost

Lost I’ve lost her again. It isn’t the first time. Previously though her preference was not to be found. Hiding. Obscuring. Not to be exposed, camouflaged from the truth. But it’s different now, inevitability, vulnerability, has smothered belligerence, stubbornness, meanness. The untruths revealed, opened, unshackled. The mask has slipped from its skeletal face revealing a past of explanation, excuse, error. But still as I hold her hand, support, escort, her resistance remains. Aware I know but unaware who I am, or was, or will be. Secrets revealed but forever concealed. Pushing the weight of guilt uphill to the end. Clear of the pain of lost love. Free from the choices. Silent. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.