Taylor Banks | + Follow Poet |
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Lost

I often think back on life, the memories I've
tried to erase
When the pain became too much, I'd do anything to help me escape

Everyones judgments speak loudly, they say that the choice is mine 
But I'd give anything for them to just feel what I feel inside

Maybe then they could understand, I never pictured this life for myself
Somewhere along the line, life got the best of me, I became too overwhelmed

I've been fighting a long hard battle, didn't just give up and lay down 
When that last straw was pulled, all I wanted was to drown

I wanted to forget, had to numb it anyway
that I could
My shoulders felt so heavy, carrying more
than one person ever should

You call me a junkie, a lowlife, a bad mom, but that is not who I am
I'm an addict who lost their way, an addict whose life got out of hand

I can tell you I'll stop, that I won't  up again But that's not the way it ever turns out, it's a never ending battle within

We are all different, we all have our own flaws 
Im laying mine out on the table, this hard truth is ugly and raw

I know I want to get out, be the best mom I can be Give my children a great life, happiness and sobriety

But this addiction has its claws so deep in
my back, it's hard to see the other side
I cant take back the pain I've caused, just
know how hard I try

Maybe one day I'll be forgiven, I never wanted to let anyone down 
I still am that same person somewhere inside, I might be lost but I hope to be found

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