Looking Back
Where I come from you wouldn't figure,
I could be the person that I have become.
My childhood was never spent needing,
and physical abuse there was none.
My mother would never tell me no,
with my father I had to earn all of it.
Manipulation was learned very young,
and respect was not something I saw fit.
Just a rebellious teenager they said,
not knowing of the raging war inside.
Mentally stuck in that one state of mind,
emotionally broken I pushed everything aside.
I dare not let them see my confusion,
They couldn't possibly understand why.
So family was pushed even further away,
and I began to self medicate by getting high.
I had always known that I was a little different,
the family characteristics I did not possess.
Affection was something similar to scarce,
feeling cast out I was in emotional distress.
Afraid of really letting anyone get too close,
the word failure I wouldn't dare say aloud.
I was never quite as the expected me to be,
but all I ever wanted was to make them proud.
For so long all I could do was run and hide,
I could have just opened up and spoke my mind.
Maybe if I had only known the true meaning,
and just realized that real love is blind.
A mother and father's love is very pure,
always unconditional and alike no other.
Families are forever and never judging,
seek their protection and in it you will find cover.
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