Lonely Loser

Awaken to remain asleep, Leaving to stay Standing to take a seat, Laying flat on the ground just to keep on my feet. I am such a loser. Breathing, am I alive? Or was I dead? Never had a Father, Was mother a figment in my head? How did I become so low? The life I live was not for me to know. I used to pray, to get attention from God or the Devil. So I could be happy like everyone else, to be on the level. Not a word or a whisper, not even a sound. A deafening silence was given as my answer while in a room full of people, with no one anywhere around. Had a dream, while gandering through a vision. Death came to me, to regretfully deny my tuition. Upon exiting my day stare, I bumped into Suicidal and Despair I thought they were my friends but were busy on their smartphones Anyone could see they never really cared. Never loved, Never wanted, only used, abused, and then refused. This loser should have not ever been born. Thought I was my mother's only son, only to become her most painful thorn. Sideway eyes from family and siblings I was always the black lamb, I am just so tired Of being afraid to look in the mirror and not see a human man. The love of my life was always passing me by as another person's wife. Seeing people in love in the city, made me feel like I was desired. But in the dark when I closed my eyes and stretched out my arms to hug her, I ineffably knew then I was a liar. If living this completely worthless life is to take me somewhere I hope it is soon. Cause, I was rejected by all of hell and heaven. Yet, I just got my acceptance letter from an entity that calls themselves Doom.