Loneliness

Don't ask me how I got this far
I do not really know
How once you left my heart was gone
Did you hear it just explode?

My chest was left a sunken place
No heart to fill the void
All my senses numbed and drained
My world at once destroyed.

Sensations felt of emptiness
where once a heart had dwelled
A body left feelingless
All precious breath expelled.

The world at once an empty place
Where once it stood a bustle
My now tortured heart and brain
In unending tussle.

I shall not know what next comes
In this one lifetime
I do know that without your love
My heart has met demise.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

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Pettit Avatar
November 5, 2013 at 1:08 AM
You have described the average broken heart fairly well with this writing. Just a couple of suggestions: Your title is misspelled. It should be "Loneliness". Also, try to avoid excessive repetition in your lines. You have used "It left" too many times here.
Brown Avatar
November 5, 2013 at 7:48 AM
Thanks for the critique Robert! I have made changes, feel free to comment.
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