Christopher Haywood Poet Free verse

Notes About The Poem

The reality of self-doubt and imposter syndrome.  Internal anxiety is a persistent, mundane presence that sits alongside everyday routines. 

Live and Move On

I sit staring at my phone at three in the morning,
watching the blue light wash over my room,
and there it is—that quiet, familiar weight
settling right behind my ribs.   

It doesn't sound like a monster or a storm.
It sounds like my own voice, just tired and flat,
asking why I bothered hitting send,
why I thought anyone was actually listening,
or why I assumed I was qualified to show up at all.   

Tick. Click. The afternoon slump arrives, heavy.
Unread emails pile up like debt, line after line, demand after demand.
And suddenly—
2018. That single awkward phrase, replaying in high definition.
Did they notice? Did they wince? Did they just stay silent out of pity?

"Cancel it," it whispers, soft and urgent. "Stay under the covers. Bed is safe."
It insists that staying small equals survival,
promising that if I never reach, I will never have to watch myself fall.   

And the worst part is how reasonable it sounds—
like a friend who’s just trying to save me from embarrassing myself.   

So I end up arguing with my own head on a Tuesday afternoon,
trying to figure out where the honest critique ends
and where the self-sabotage begins.   

I haven't figured out how to make it shut up completely.
Some days I still let it win the argument.
But lately, I just let it talk in the background
while I get up, make a cup of coffee,
and do the thing anyway.

♡Like0

Share Poem

---

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Alison A Smith August 30, 2026 at 12:11 AM This is a deeply authentic and resonant piece. The conversational free-verse form perfectly mirrors the creeping, unstructured nature of anxiety, especially as it weaves through quiet, mundane moments. I love how you captured the deceptive "reasonableness" of self-doubt and juxtaposed that heavy internal voice against the grounding, everyday act of making a cup of coffee. A beautifully relatable and honest poem. Christopher Haywood August 30, 2026 at 7:15 AM It reminds me a little from psychology; id, ego, super-ego. I did this before building my new collection. I had my doubts, anxiety. I didn't know if others would like my writing style or subjects. Now, I can't quit writing.