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Life. Lights.

see even the lights they live a bike skims the riverbank fish leap, catch the sunlight like bursts of laughter above the morning water noon. hot summer children are learning to sing golden shafts slip through open church roofs an empty stone bridge people returning home, carrying things. the ferries are lighting up for the night tours streetlamps oil lamps along the paths and into homes sky bursting, spilling stars into every child’s dream See even the lights They live. 2010.8. -NOTICE- I would love it if Soupers could give me some critical feedback. I don't even mind very very strong critiques as long as they're constructive. I'm always encouraged by all the positive comments you all give me, but I think it's time to upgrade my writing skills. ;) So come on and take my poem to pieces, people! :D

Copyright © | Year Posted 2010




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Date: 11/20/2017 4:07:00 PM
A fine poem from a fine poet
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Date: 1/3/2016 6:44:00 PM
You did well
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Date: 11/6/2010 4:43:00 PM
Genuinely Grace this is beautiful.It's decriptive, uses good natural imagery has emotion and reads well Especially love the phrase regarding childrens dreams.You have a gift and a certain amount of applied technical ability.I think if you worry too much about learning how to write 'better 'poetry you will lose your raw talent and the heart will go out of it.Perhaps what you need is more faith in yourself.As poets we share our gift for other's pleasure.You do this very well. Love June (S)
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Date: 10/26/2010 11:58:00 AM
May your week be one of good health, may your heart be full of love, and your life give you amazing inspiration for your writing. I enjoyed reading your exceptional poetry and thank you for sharing it Grace. Love, Carol
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Date: 10/26/2010 9:26:00 AM
A stunning piece that reflects the flow and tonality of your theme... and the interwoven images just put everything together, grace! lovely.. thanks for visiting my page.. warmest, nette
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Date: 10/26/2010 5:43:00 AM
I am having a hard time thinking of a critique because I do really like it so much! The flow could maybe be smoothed out in a couple places is all I can see.
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