Learning To Breath

Learning to Breathe Just like any other, it usually, starts with just sitting still Except my mind is racing at free will My fingers tapping two by two, My breath gets shorter, “who are you?” Collect yourself before they notice, Oh shoot “I’m sorry” focus focus My palms get sweaty, my teeth now chitter A feeling deep in my stomach, it's awfully bitter “Hey they are talking to you” It feels like I’ve come down with some sort of a flu “I’m so sorry” did they notice? Come on kid, focus focus “Excuse me please, just a moment” Exhausted from constantly facing this same opponent To the restroom and the sink, Coldwater, it helps me think Not again, please don’t notice Come on kid, focus focus I look up in the mirror, and I watch myself fighting It’s such a harsh feeling, no real way of describing As water starts to drip from my eyes and my breaths coming in shorter and shorter The walls are moving in, it feels like I’m being pushed into a closed corner How do I stop this, so nobody will notice I can do this, just focus focus My brother told me once to put my hands on my head and take a deep breath, In a way, him knowing what to say, it scared me half to death I know I’m not alone, but not him too Anxiety is not an easy thing to go through But it's okay kid, only your brother noticed It will be fine, just focus focus My best friend told me once that it’s not easy to control your overthinking, It will be okay, sometimes everyone feels like they are sinking The reassurance, it definitely helps, Now she knows too, It’s okay, just her, nobody else It's getting better, just no one else notice I can control this, just focus focus Once another friend brought up in conversation, “Have you been feeling okay, I've noticed your anxious tics going off without reservation” Great, now another person knows, Why is it even a secret, I feel so exposed I can do this, maybe nobody else will notice, Come on, please, just focus focus Years have passed, and I face panic attacks less and less, But I learn that no matter what, I will always have thoughts that make my palms sweat, But what I have realized over these years, Is everyone struggles, everyone has fears Anxiety is not a joke And overthinking is easily provoked, You're never going through it alone, so it’s okay if people notice I think I have finally learned to focus